One Weary, Torpid, Seasick, Screwed-Up Adolescent

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108603305A DAMP COMMENT: Steve Brenner called Andy’s Murray‘s performance in the Australian Open final “the dampest of squibs.”

OUCH!: James Lawton unapologetically said the Novak Djokovic-Andy Murray final pitted a “finished sportsman against someone who more than anything resembled, well, a rather screwed-up adolescent.”

HERE COMES THE SUN: The British tabloid The Sun more than jabbed at Murray, observing, “Rage and frustration were etched all over Andy Murray’s face as he once again came up not just short but miles off.”

NO PRESSURE: AO champ Kim Clijsters told reporters, “With all due respect, a lot of things that are being said in here, the pressure leaves as soon as I leave through that door.”

WORD FROM BORIS: Six-time Slam champ Boris Becker said of Murray, “That he has now lost all three of his Grand Slam finals in straight sets is a telling statistic. That is because three times he approached the match in a passive mood. That is the wrong strategy in a Grand Slam final, plain and simple.”

SWEATY STRUGGLE: Columnist Richard Williams called Murray’s final as a “hard, sweaty struggle to retain a semblance of self respect.”

QUICK, GET THE DRAMAMINE!: Greg Baum said Murray “looked ready for the infirmary. Throughout the match, he appeared weary, torpid, almost seasick, but he often does.”

SHATTERED DREAMS: A Shanghai Daily headline lamented, “Clijsters Shatters Chinese Dream.”

QUESTION: Can Murray take solace in knowing that Andre Agassi, Ivan Lendl and Goran Ivanisevic each lost their first three Grand Slam finals?  Or that Clijsters came up short in her first four attempts?

LOVE MATCH: Regarding the often-humorous post-match digs aimed at her husband/coach Jiang Shan, Li Na said, “I made a lot of jokes…but it doesn’t matter if you are fat or skinny, handsome or ugly, I’ll always follow you and always love you.”

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SO DEFENSIVE ABOUT IT: Jake Niall wrote, “All good players are a marriage of liberal and conservative — Federer included — and the capacity to shift gears is crucial. Nadal and Federer frequently defend for periods to remain in a set before setting the dogs loose on an opponent. Murray, though, wasn’t going to beat Djokovic in a defensive backcourt battle.”

LLEYTON LITE: The Herald Sun’s Jessica Halloran called Lleyton Hewitt‘s successful appearance in the TV commentary booth the “biggest public make-over since John McEnroe picked up a microphone and went from Superbrat to Superchat.”

NO SURPRISE: Asked for his reaction after hearing that Andre Agassi will be inducted into the Hall of Fame, Andy Roddick said, “It’s about as surprising as the sun coming up this morning.”

THE NUMBERS

3 a.m.: Time Kim Clijsters finally got to sleep following her Aussie Open win.  The Belgian celebrated by wandering Melbourne’s streets with husband, Brian, and the Bryan Bros., who won the men’s doubles title.

HEADLINES

OPEN INVITATION: DJOKOVIC CAN CRASH BIG TWO PARTY

MURRAY’S MIND IS SLAM SHUT

ANDY COURTING DISASTER AS HE LOOKS TO TEAM MURRAY FOR ANSWERS

FLOP MURRAY DESERVES A SERVE FOR INABILITY TO DO SO

NOVAK NO ONE-SLAM WONDER

QUOTEBOOK

“The presence of Lleyton Hewitt‘s tennis clothes-clad parents front and center at his every match was understandable when he was a teenager, but they look a little bit sad hovering over a father of three who is knocking on 30.” — Peter Hanlon, The Age

“I do think this is probably my last full season that I’ll be playing.” — Kim Clijsters, following her 3-6, 6-3, 6-3 defeat of Li Na

“Physically, I was always a hard worker, fit and getting stronger and stronger. Now I think I have reached the stage where I feel that I could get any ball on the court.” — Novak Djokovic

“This is going to hang over Andy’s head for some time.” — Tim Henman on Andy Murray

Novak Djokovic not only broke the Nadal-Federer stranglehold on the game’s major trophies, the 23-year-old Serbian made a compelling case to be admitted to their elite company.” — Richard Hinds, The Age

“The world is full of tennis coaches, and somewhere out there must be one capable of providing the combination of discipline and encouragement necessary to focus the unruly instincts that undid Murray once again…If necessary, they could take breakfast in separate rooms.” — Richard Williams, The Guardian

“There were no tears this time, but when Andy Murray looks back on his third successive straight-sets defeat in a Grand Slam final his regrets are likely to be deeper than on either of his two previous attempts to land one of the four great prizes in his sport.” — Paul Newman, The Independent

“During Li Na‘s historic run on the women’s side, it was common to hear she had ‘1.6 billion Chinese rooting for her.’ Really? All 1.6 billion? Couldn’t there be a Kirilenko or Ivanovic fan in there? Someone entranced by Francesca Schiavone‘s game? A big fan of Andrea Petkovic‘s nutty dance?” — Bruce Jenkins

“We’re outnumbered now.” — Lleyton Hewitt on the arrival of his third child