Indians vs. Twins/Astaire vs. Kelly

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63206448ANSWER THE QUESTION: When Alexandr Dolgopolov‘s coach, Jack Reader, was asked what his Ukrainian pupil should do to beat Any Murray, he responded, “You should ask what Murray should do to beat Dolgopolov.”

COULD BE DANGEROUS: When reflecting on Dolgopolov’s low toss, Chris Bowers claimed, “It’s like he puts the ball on his racket.  But he actually doesn’t do that — otherwise he would have lost his left hand.”

JUST WONDERING: How much does women’s tennis miss Serena Williams?…Will Serena and Venus Williams meet the ITF’s eligibility requirements to play the 2012 London Olympics?…Is it us, or does Alexandr Dolgopolov look a bit like Martina Hingis?…Has there ever been a lower profile duo at the Nos. 1-2 spots than Caroline Wozniacki and Vera Zvonareva, neither of whom has won a Slam?

BEST NEW STAT: The tennis media is always looking for exciting new stats.  The best to come out of the Australian Open was the notion of a “re-break percentage” —Brad Gilbert‘s measurement of how often a player breaks back after being broken.

DANCE FEVER: If Roger Federer has the elegance and perfectionism of Fred Astaire, Rafael Nadal has the athleticism and spunk of Gene Kelly.

MOSCOW ON THE TOUR: When discussing the constant-motion, nomadic nature of the tennis circuit, Australian Open Radio suggested, “When something happens like the bombings in the Moscow airport [which claimed the lives of 35 people], it sends a shudder through the tennis world.”

WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS A FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE: When PR/communications man Pete Holtermann asked Brad Gilbert to pick a winner between the Indians and the Twins, Gilbert assumed he was referring the American League Central rivalry between Cleveland and Minnesota.  But Holtermann was talking about the AO doubles final between Leander Paes/Mahesh Bhupathi and the Bryan Bros.

A BALLSY PERFORMANCE: Following their 6-3, 6-2 Aussie Open semifinal win over Eric Butorac/Jean-Julien Rojer, the Bryan bros. received a one-word congratulatory text from their former Davis Cup captain Patrick McEnroe, which read, simply, “wheelbarrow.”  The esoteric message refers to the twins’ first-ever Davis Cup triumph over Karol Beck/Dominik Hrbaty in Slovakia in ’03.  Afterward, while the brothers were strolling down the main street in Bratislava, McEnroe pulled up next to them in his car and yelled, “Get a wheelbarrow!”  When Bob and Mike asked what he was talking about, PMac shot back, “You need a wheelbarrow for how big your balls are!”

THE NEW COMIC IN TOWN: Is Na Li the best new comedic talent to emerge in tennis since the young Novak Djokovic gave us his inspired and fearless imitations?  With her impeccable timing, she offers brutally frank answers and her English isn’t too shabby either.  Asked why she’s playing so well, she’ll say it’s because of the prize money.  Ask her how she celebrates a win and she’ll tell you her husband gave her his credit card and she wants to go shopping.  Then, after she beat Caroline Wozniacki to become to the first Chinese player to reach a Grand Slam final, she said it was such a tough match because  “I didn’t have a good evening. My husband slept like this — SSHHHHSS.  I woke up every hour!” Eventually asked whether her reclusive mother would come from China to Melbourne to watch her play in the final, she said, “No.”  Li said she always asks her mom, but is denied. “I’m not going to come.  I have my life.  I don’t want to come with you.”

GO FIGURE: Justine Henin has now retired at the Aussie Open twice in three years.

ANYTHING BUT LOVE: Kate Kearns asserted, “Love hasn’t been easy for Justine Henin.”

WISE WORDS SAD EYES: Chris Bowers offered the psychological insight of the day when he said, “I think Justine [Henin] is still battling with issues relating to her sense of self. She talks with great wisdom but I see those sad eyes.”

SCENE STEALER: Could the Justine Henin retirement announcement come at a worse time?  The Belgian Tennis Association had just named her to the Fed Cup team and her revelation seemed to be an incredible scene-stealer as her countrywoman Kim Clijsters prepared to play her the Australian Open semis.  Couldn’t Justine have waited until a day or two after the Aussie Open the break the news?

KERMIT ALERT: Has a player ever won a Slam in as green an outfit as the one Kim Clijsters is sporting?

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