The Buzz – July Edition

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FOREHAND FLYING, GLUM EXPRESSION, HEAD DOWN, ARMS FLAILING, FROZEN AT NET, HERCULEAN CONFIDENCE SHATTERED: A pummeled Fed in the French final.

CLAY COMMENTARIES
• Mark Hodgkinson wrote, “The French Open is the only Grand Slam tournament at which the players end up eating the court.”
• Asked about playing on a windy day on clay, Sharapova said, “Apart from eating and breathing the sand, it was great.”
• Bill Macatee stated that a wise man once said, “When you feel the clay you’re not just feeling dirt, you’re feeling life.”

IS NOT LIFE BUT A MODEST ARC OF SMALL PLEASURES?: Guga Kuerten, who for years has been hobbled with injuries, said he came back to play Roland Garros (where he won three times) to indulge himself the luxury of “one more little pleasure.”

BOB BRYAN, MONEY MACHINE: When asked whether his brother Mike watched him win the RG mixed dubs championship, Bob Bryan said, “No — Mike just looks at the prize money because we split it down the middle.  So he’s happy I made him some money…He calls me ‘the ATM machine.’”

ANGER MANAGEMENT 101: Last year, Sharapova told us, “It’s pretty hard being a tennis player and Mother Theresa at the same time.”  This year she proved it. During her agonizing loss to Safina, Maria blurted out to herself, “You’re a choker!” and “‘C’mon, kick her ass!” Sharapova explained, “I was trying to get angry at something…and just let loose.”

THE TWO MOST FRIGHTENING THOUGHTS AT RG:
1. Justin Gimelstob said that if Djokovic beat Nadal, he’d not only stand on his head, he’d do it naked.
2. Ted Robinson dared to ask, “Can you imagine Nadal [like Henin] saying next year, ‘That’s it.’”

BEATING NADAL AND FEDERER FOR DUMMIES
• When asked what tactics he’d use to beat Fed, Gimelstob said, “I’d tomahawk my racket at his knees and hope for direct contact.”
• Peter Bodo suggested, “Maybe a giant California condor will swoop down from the sky and pluck TMF [The Mighty Federer] off the court and drop him in the Seine. Stranger things have happened, TMF losing to Fillippo Volandri among them.”
• After it was said that all Fed had to do to beat Rafa was hit all his shots on the lines, Carillo quipped, “That’s quite a strategy — don’t hit the clay.”

MONA LISA SMILES: Carillo reflected on the joy of Ivanovic’s smile, and then noted that Martina Hingis smiled too, but when she did it, she was more like “rubbing it in”…ESPN’s Bonnie Ford noted that Safina’s “half-amused, half-inscrutable smile is a mirror image of her brother’s.”

TENNIS’ ANSWER TO THE BIRDS OF CAPISTRANO: Carillo noted that Fed is forced to play from far behind the baseline on just one court just once a year: i.e. against Rafa in the RG final.

RAFA REALITIES:
As a kid, Nadal’s coach, Toni Nadal, said the right-handed prospect should switch and play left-handed, and later advised his steed to “stay hungry, stay humble”…Rafa, who’s never lost at RG or even been taken to a fifth set, has won 115 out of his last 117 clay matches and has a 9-1 record vs. Fed in clay finals… He’s the only player to have won four Slams and never been No. 1…He’s arguably the best Avis (i.e. No. 2) player in history, holding that ranking for 150 weeks…His volleys are better than ever and his once slightly vulnerable backhand is now a fearsome weapon on clay…He plays virtually every point like it’s match point…He’s a “preposterously fit” bull who’s been called a “savage beast”…He became the first guy since Borg to win RG without losing a set and many, including Borg, now consider him the best ever on clay.

SOMETIMES THAT CRYSTAL BALL GETS A TAD HAZY: Mats Wilander contended, “If Federer starts playing aggressively…there’s nothing in Nadal’s game that can hurt him”…Before Rafa’s blowout win over Fed, Borg said, “I’m looking forward to this final tomorrow because I know it’s going to be close”…Just before Safina unleashed a furious comeback to down Sharapova, the usually adept Mary Joe Fenandez referred to Sharapova’s previous French Open loss to the Russian and said, “I don’t think it’s going to happen again. Sharapova seems so assured in her shots.”

VINNIE’S GONNA GET A CUP AND START RAPPING: A first-round Paris loss was all Vince Spadea needed to get rapping: “No, I got no dough, crowd wouldn’t leave me alone, now I’ve got to pay for my phone, go home, my life is alone again, my tennis is in trouble, [but] I can keep going, failure’s only about quitting, I may want to go get a cup and stand outside a building in New York City.  There’s a lot of people …Think about it.  A quarter a person. I’ll just rap to them.”

THE RAFA-JIMBO CONNECTION:
Sure, Nadal is often compared to lefty baseline grinders Guilermo Vilas and Thomas Muster. But remember, Nadal and Jimmy Connors aren’t only fierce left-handed competitors with great groundies and multiple Slam titles, but both have their birthdays during their favorite majors — the French and U.S. Opens, respectively.

ALL HAIL THE ‘B’ TEAM: The A-list leaders of the American and French contingents — Andy Roddick/James Blake and Richard Gasquet/Jo Wilfried Tsonga — accounted for just one win between them at RG. But America’s B-listers — Robby Ginepri (fourth round), Mardy Fish, Bobby Reynolds and Wayne Odesnik (third round) won a combined eight matches. Similarly, the French undercard of semifinalist Gael Monfils, Paul-Henri Mathieu, Julien Benneteau and seven others won 21 matches between them.

THE MYSTERY WITHIN AN ENIGMA THAT IS JAMES BLAKE: Who’s right? The analysts who say the incredibly gifted James Blake, who has one of the most lethal forehands in the game, a vastly upgraded backhand, great wheels, a punishing serve, sublime athleticism, an improving record in marathon matches and stellar Davis Cup loyalty, but still needs to learn variety, the craft of point construction, patience and the realization that there are times you just have to back off and realize that, unless you’re in balance with your feet under you, blasting groundies can be a low percentage play? Or Blake himself, who just chuckles and ridicules critics who’ve never played big time ball?

BLOWOUT BASH: The RG men’s final was the shortest final in terms of games since ‘77, the shortest in terms of time since ‘80, and the first time Fed lost a set 6-0 since ‘99…If the final, which was the second most lopsided in history, was a fight, they would have thrown in the towel in the third set.

STEFFI’S SLAM SHOUT OUT: To show how tough it is to win a Grand Slam or a triple crown, ABC noted that the last golf Grand Slam winner was Bobby Jones in ‘30; that baseball’s last Triple Crown winner was Carl Yastrzemski in ‘67; horse racing’s last triple crown winner was Affirmed in ‘78, Rod Laver, in ‘69, was the last guy to notch the Grand Slam in men’s tennis and (drum roll, please!) the last winner of any Grand Slam of note was Steffi Graf, who scored her Golden Slam (the four majors, plus the Olympic gold) in ‘88. BTW: the term Grand Slam was originally a term in bridge.

NEWSFLASH! YET ANOTHER PLAYER WHO HAS VAULTED HIGH ABOVE A NOTEABLY LOW BAR: Andy (“the most scrutinized player in tennis not named Sharapova?”) Murray has again feverishly defended his character. “I shout a lot and my facial expressions get bad sometimes, but how often have you seen me smash my racket … I shout and swear sometimes, [well] most of the time, but I don’t do all the other stuff that a lot of other players do…I’m not stumbling out of nightclubs. I’m not throwing up in front of the paparazzi. I don’t make the mistakes away from the court.”

A SEED OF THE RUSSIAN REVOLUTION?: Navratilova noted that Moscow’s legendary Spartak Club works long and hard with kids to get great technique by playing “shadow tennis” without a racket. “In America,” she claimed, “kids just wouldn’t go for that.  They’d leave quickly and get into skateboarding or baseball.”

NOW WE’RE OFF THE HOOK: In ‘00, American officials incensed the visiting Czech contingent when they played the Slovakian anthem before a Davis Cup tie in L.A. Now the Czechs have done a similar nefarious deed by featuring the Latvian anthem before a big soccer match with Lithuania.

THERE’S A NEW GESTURE IN TOWN: Okay, Ivanovic has the best yelp in the game. Still the question remains; is her almost-elegant fist pump (which Jankovic terms a Sharapova ripoff) the most distinctive celebratory gesture to emerge since Lleyton Hewitt’s fist-pumping “C’mons?”

WITH BUDDHA ON HER SIDE: Ivanovic’s trainer helped AI win RG. Scott Byrnes, who spent a year in a Buddhist monastery, worked with Ana for almost two years, noted “[She] learned some things I’ve been able to pass along. But that’s not the answer. She found that within herself.”  Byrnes encouraged Ana to meditate and find a still, quiet place and let feelings wash over her by listening to her breath.

SCALP COLLECTOR: Since Miami, Safina has beaten Sharapova, Henin, Serena, Davenport, Elena Dementieva (twice) and Kuznetsova.

GENDER BENDER: Rennae Stubbs asked, “What is the girl’s version of mano a mano?”

THE BRAIN GAME: Years ago, it was famously said that the biggest weapon in tennis was Mats Wilander’s brain. Katrina Adams recently told ESPN.com that Dinara Safina’s brain “has always been her biggest nemesis.”

MAN [ALMOST] BITES DOG AND OTHER GOLF VS. TENNIS TALES FROM THE FIRST HOLE BUNKER: An ill-placed first-hole bunker derailed the dreamy aspirations of tennis’ eight-time Grand Slam winner Ivan Lendl to qualify for golf’s U.S. Open. Lendl — who noted that he’s not obsessed with golf, that he “only” plays 250 rounds a year, not the 300 that were reported — explained that when he could no longer play tennis (think bad back), he had to find another competitive outlet. “I couldn’t just walk away from that. I would have bitten my dog”… Greg Norman, who’ll marry Chris Evert on June 28, confided that he wished he’d taken up tennis as a kid, not golf. “If you miss a point, you can win the next two points to win the game,” he noted. “Golf — you miss that one shot, you take a triple-bogey, see you later.”

BEST IDEA OF THE MONTH (THAT COULD HAPPEN): Tom Tebbutt said that if a player interrupts a match for an injury timeout, his opponent should be able to visit his coach or hit with someone to stay in rhythm during the delay.

ANDRE’S TURN: A while ago, Evert took a swipe at Venus and Serena. Now Agassi has said the girls should understand that the time they devote to projects and causes off the court takes energy and focus away from their tennis. “With the Williams [who now have won just two of their 14 Grand Slam titles since ‘05 and who were both bumped out of RG by lower-ranked players in the 3rd round], you never quite know what you’re going to get,” asserted Andre. “It’s a mixed bag when they show up…They’re incredible athletes who…have the ability to dominate but have found their own reasons why they’re not…You have to plan your work and work your plan.  So if you’re clear on what you’re choosing, God bless you, but there’s a clock you have on a career, especially a career that’s ballistic and demanding…It takes a lot just to focus on that.”

MONEY MATTERS: Britain’s tennis association, which has one player (Andy Murray) in the top 200, has an annual income of $49 million. The USTA’s annual budget is over $135 million. According to Ernests Gulbis, his homeland of Latvia has a  total tennis budget of 5,000 Euros ($7,800)…Justin Gimelstob claimed that Gulbis’ family is so wealthy that “I’m not sure he takes the time to pick up his prize-money check.”

HEADLINES:
MURRAY: ‘I’M NO MONSTER’
SWISS TRYING TO LEARN HOW TO PARTY
HENIN COULD PLAY AGAIN IF SHE CAN’T FIND HAPPINESS IN REAL LIFE
ZEN-LIKE CALM ELEVATING IVANOVIC TO NEW HEIGHTS

THE DE-STABILIZING POWER OF ADULATION: Congolese native Jo-Wilfried Tsonga went to his homeland where intense storms of adoring Tsongamania broke out. “It’s something powerful to receive all this love in the street,” he told Christopher Clarey. “When all that comes at you…it’s really destabilizing.”

‘JE NE REGRETTE RIEN’ PERSPECTIVE OF THE YEAR: Asked to reflect on his years in the game, Kuerten said, “One stage of my career was very successful, and I was able to get all the goals that I could. The second part was really tough. But in the same way, it was important to live those years, to grow as a person, to understand, what it is to have other things to deal with. So I guess, there are no regrets, just big knowledge.”

THIS ONE’S FOR YOU, MOM: Hours after hearing that his mom had passed away, Pepperdine’s Andre Begemann notched a victory at the NCAA Championships on the day before Mother’s Day. His win was a tribute to her. As he said later, “I spoke with her Saturday morning and she asked that I stay and play the tournament. My tennis career meant so much to her.”

SOMETIMES YOU CAN TAKE YOUR EYE OFF THE BALL: Veteran announcer Dick Enberg said, “Through 50 years of covering sports there are a few players who, due to their virtuosity, you can take your eye off the ball and just watch the player himself and Nadal and Federer are two such players.”

HE LEFT A ‘LORGE’ LEGACY: To some he was “the bear,” others called him “Tolstoy.”  All who knew Barry Lorge — who succumbed to cancer at age 60 — recognized that he was an insightful perfectionist. Ethical and hardworking, he was celebrated as one of America’s most gifted tennis writers who went on to become the sports editor of the San Diego Union Tribune. The tennis world also lost Swedish Hall of Famer Sven Davidson, 79, who passed away on May 28.

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