CREATING MORE QUESTIONS THAN IT ANSWERED: The Federer-Sampras series of four exos seemed to create more more questions than it answered:

  • Were the matches the most compelling exo series since Jack Kramer’s barnstorming days in the ‘50s?

  • Who would have guessed that a Beagle (“best-of-show”) at the Westminster Dog Show and a baseliner with sublime groundies (that would be Roger) created far more positive Madison Square Garden buzz than a dreary season full of Knicks games.

  • Except for a million-dollar payoff, some fun, a heap of adoration and a free jet ride or two, what did Fed really have to gain from all the exos?

  • How come the now-relaxed Sampras didn’t, in his heyday, show a tad more of the fun-loving charisma and humor he did at the exo (like when he jokingly mocked Tiger Woods’ windmill fist pump)?

  • Now that it was so successful on so many fronts, how many more Fed-Sampras face-offs will there be?

  • Sampras’ aggressive serve and volley style, at times, punished Roger, which begs the question of if there were a great serve and volleyer on the circuit now, would he give Fed a hefty headache?

  • Did Fed go all out or, to some extent, did he “carry” Pistol for the sake of the show? (Note: with many a high-roller courtside, Roger swept through the first set in 29 minutes and then seemed to go into a kind of cruise control until he went down early in third and things got dicey.)

  • So the aging (wasn’t he over-the-hill and out in the pasture?) Sampras wins one of his four exos with Pete and four times gets within two points of winning in New York. Doesn’t this considerable showing significantly upgrade his standing in tennis’ ongoing — who’s the greatest of all time — debate?

  • After reaching the Indian Wells quarters, Mardy Fish — who is engaged to Stacey Gardner, the No. 2 model on “Deal or No Deal” — was asked: “Mardy Fish wins the Pacific Life Open — Deal or No Deal? Fish answered, “Deal.”

 

ROUND ROBIN DEBACLES, GAMBLING SCANDALS, DRUG BUSTS—NOW THIS: Eliot Spitzer — the humiliated ex-New York Governor is a tennis player. But that didn’t stop him from getting high and mighty when the USTA lost it’s legal case for not having enough minorities and women as umps and linespersons.

 

BY THE WAY, WHAT DO BUGSY SEGAL, THE SHADY CREATOR OF MODERN VEGAS AND STEVE BELLAMY, THE ENTREPRENURIAL DREAMER WHO FOUNDED THE TENNIS CHANNEL, HAVE IN COMMON?: Without either, no Tennis Channel Open in Vegas.

 

GOOD WEEKEND FOR AMERICAN TENNIS: Early in March, Roddick won in Dubai, Serena won in India, Sam Querrey won his first tournament in Vegas and Asia Muhammed reached the USTA Challenger final in Vegas.

 

NOW HERE’S ONE TOURNAMENT THAT SURE COULD USE ‘AA’ As A PRESENTING SPONSOR: After noting that the Tennis Channel Open had a wine and three beer brands as sponsors (Beck’s, Red Rock and Stella Artois), Jimmy Arias quipped, “We sure have a lot of alcoholic sponsors.”

 

MODESTY IS ALIVE AND WELL: After winning the Tennis Channel Open, Michael Llodra turned to his partner Julien Benneteau and said, “I’d like to thank Julien. It was a pleasure for me to give you a title.”

 

HEADLINE OF THE MONTH: ”Roddick Breaks Streak — He Wins!”

 

AN ODE TO ‘PRETTY LITTLE KITTY GIRLS IN TENNIS SKIRTS’: Roddick had the exchange below with a relentless, kind of crazed reporter which he said was the weirdest “question” he’d ever gotten in the thousands of press conferences he’s done over the years:

  Q: Andy, what’s going on ... in the love department? You’ve got all these pretty little kitty girls in tennis skirts and they’re going to come and oogle and oogle you and give you the little winky.

  ANDY RODDICK: Yeah! Woo!

  Q: Is it any fun ...

  AR: God, you need to come around more often. This is fun! Jesus.

  Q: The girls are here for something.

  AR: I finally have somebody more hyperactive than I am. Unbelievable. What did you eat for breakfast?

  Q: My mother cooked breakfast for me.

  AR: Did she wear one of those cute little tennis skirts, too, when she was cooking those eggs this morning? I don’t even know what you asked.

  Q: I asked what’s up in the love department? What’s going on now with the career ... as far as time zones are concerned ... Do you make time for love?

  AR: I’m all about the love. I love everybody. I’m falling in love with you as we speak.

  Q: You’re wonderful. Thank you for being here.

  AR: You’re awesome.

  Q: Yeah, I know. On behalf of myself and all the young girls...

  AR: Thank you.

  Q: We have a crush on you. We adore your performances here.

  AR: Thank you. I will never forget this moment.

 

OKAY SHE’S NOT TENNIS’ ANSWER TO CAMILLA PARKER BOWLES, BUT … : Doug Robson adeptly revealed the tipping point in the Andy Roddick-Jimmy Connors separation. A source told Robson that “Roddick wanted to stop in New York City on his way back from Dubai so he could spend time with his squeeze, the blonde S.I. swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker. He asked Jimbo to come to the Big Apple to train. Connors told Andy he preferred him to come to his home in Montecito. It was a good old-fashioned standoff...Not hard to imagine, is it: Two bull-headed champs standing their ground. Vexed that Connors wouldn’t be more “flexible” considering the princely sum he was paying the eight-time champ, the two had a longer conversation about their working relationship, travel and commitment. One source told Robson, “Like with Brad [Gilbert], Andy got inspired for a few months

and then the relationship just wore down.”

 

FAINTLY RIDICULOUS: Lisa Dillman wrote of the “newly vulnerable Roger Federer” and then quickly noted that the phrase itself sounded “faintly ridiculous.”

 

MONICA ELEMENT: Prior to her appearance on Dancing With the Stars, Lindsay Davenport said once fans saw her friend Monica Seles on the hit ABC show, they would remember why they loved her. Not so. For we loved Monica, not only for her guts to come back on tour after being stabbed in the back. We loved her for her ferocity, her in-your-face groundies, her will to win. Grace and ease were never her strong point. Beauty and flowing movement were never her forte. Easy charisma and an aura of inner-confidence — nah, that wasn’t Monica in her later years. When you think Seles you don’t think Federesque like footwork.

  • Sadly, all these truths came to the fore during Monica’s appearance on the primetime show. Stuck in a puffy-pink, bridesmaid-on-steroids dress, she was stiff and apprehensive. Her music was uninspired, her choreography was ordinary and her theatrics with a flower were overly dramatic. From the get-go, Monica sensed something was amiss, as she asked herself “what am I doing, where’s the exit.” Once on TV, she confessed she was more nervous than for any of her Grand Slam finals.

  • Monica only drew modest scores of “5” from each of the three no-nonsense judges who offered many a candid comment. Monica quickly choked up and struggled to control her emotions.

  • Still, in the end, Monica was pleased about her moment in fantasy land. “I never got to be a girly-girl,” she confided. But Monica earned a “10” for guts and willingness to take a high-profile risk, even if it was in an unending pink gown.

 

GAG THE GRUNTER: Nine-year-old Lauryn Edwards, whose favorite player is mega-grunter Maria Sharapova, was banned from her club in Australia for grunting too loudly. Her stunned dad Duncan said, “They told me to guarantee she won’t grunt or she can’t play. How can I guarantee that? She’s been doing it since she was really little. She’s her own person. What do they want me to do — put Band-Aids over her mouth? They made her cry.” Sharapova herself commented, saying “Oh, I don’t think that’s right. I’ve grunted since I was four years old. It’s very unfortunate. I hope that it doesn’t become too serious for her.” Maria then made one of those — “She’s joking isn’t she, but I’m not sure” type quips — commenting that she would not have had her career if she hadn’t grunted.

 

A TALE OF WAR AND PEACE DEEP WITHIN A SCOTTISH CLAN: After Scot Andy Murray pulled out of Britain’s doomed Davis Cup journey to Argentina, Jamie Murray publicly criticized his brother for his decision to skip the tie. ”It was a shock to me, and the team. It’s also very disappointing. It’s a shame that he decided that it was best for him not to come here. It kind of affects the way I feel about him. It’s disappointing...”I’m here working hard for the team, trying to do the best I can, and he’s at home doing whatever he’s doing.” Fortunately, the Murray brothers soon made up, as Andy observed “It’s really not the best thing for your mum and dad to read in the paper that you’re fighting and not getting on with each other.”

 

BEAUTIFUL DREAMER: Andy Murray revealed his Wimbledon dreams at Indian Wells. Said the Scot, “I actually dreamt for the first time in my life about winning match point at a Grand Slam...I kind of woke up, and now I feel like I'm ready to go…God, I want to win it…I woke up few hours later and I was unbelievably disappointed.”

 

FOOLISH FOOT FRENZY FINALLY FIZZLES: Sonia Mirza told IT that a court in India has dropped the silly case against her for resting her bare feet near an Indian flag.

 

AND NOW FOR A QUICK, LITTLE REFLECTION ON PRESIDENTIAL HISTORY: Bill Dwyre noted that “Federer has been No. 1 since Jimmy Carter was president. Okay, it just seems that long. He actually took over the top spot Feb. 2, 2004...[and] won 10 of the next 15 Grand Slam events. He didn’t just take over men’s tennis, he was men’s tennis. If it weren’t for tournaments played mostly in Europe, where two players stand yards behind the baseline, slap looping ground strokes at each other for hours — and that’s just the first set — and finish looking like jockeys who have just raced in the mud, Federer might have shut the entire game down.

 

CALL IN THE SHAMANS: The Hindu, an Indian newspaper, reflected on Federer losing in the first round to Andy Murray in Dubai. “Imagine Superman, the stitching of his cape coming undone, tripping as he exits a phone booth, and there you have Federer in ‘08. A hero gone very gently amiss. There is no reason to call the Shamans but certainly there is cause for slight concern...” Federer is simply not his old self...But perhaps this was inevitable for no man could play so artfully so long, but it is interesting, nevertheless. For with genius we want to see how long they could carry on performing almost without blemish, how long before rivals smell not intimidation, but weakness. At his untouchable best he flew, and us with him, and never has one-sided victory been so thrilling. Yet, almost perversely so, we are not completely upset watching Federer struggle, for we wish to see how he takes the beating he has always dished out, what he will change (come to the net more, get a coach?) The Swiss will get the slam record, but he might arrive there limping, his Superman outfit torn.

 

SEX IS OVER-RATED? As Jelena Jankovic was fighting a cold, a reporter informed her she sounded sexy. The Serb replied, “I don’t want to sound sexy. I want to feel healthy.”

 

HOLLYWOOD QUIZ: Of these three players — who now have upscale digs in L.A. — who “went Hollywood” the most? Beverly Hills’ Serena Williams, who grew up in hardscrabble Compton; Malibu’s Ashley Harkleroad, whose hometown is the less-than-urbane town of Chickamauga, Ga.; or Manhattan Beach’s Maria Sharapova who spent her early childhood in Siberia before fleeing to Florida.

 

MOST BIBLICAL ANALYSIS: In light of the fact that last year and this, Fed and then Roddick, won in the desert in Dubai and then lost early in the desert at Indian Wells, Lisa Dillman proclaimed “the desert giveth, and the desert taketh away.”

 

THAT DEAF, DUMB, BLIND HERO SURE PLAYS A MEAN TENNIS GAME: In leafy Easton, Conn., there is a USTA-affiliated facility — the Helen Keller Tennis Center — which is named after the singular deaf and blind pioneer.

 

PUTTING ‘POP WINK’ IN PERSPECTIVE: Sharapova’s rarely seen mom Yelena is even lower profile than Sampras’ dad Sam, Agassi’s mom Elizabeth or Davenport’s pop Wink.

 

INTRIGUING SCHEDULING IDEA THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN NO. 29: Why not move the two biggest U.S. tournaments this side of the US Open — Indian Wells and Miami — so they don’t compete against March Madness.

 

SMALL IS BEAUTIFUL: After 6-foot-6 Sam Querrey won the Tennis Channel Open over 6-foot-7 Ken Anderson, Jimmy Arias quipped, “The little guy won.”

 

SOUNDS LIKE A DEVOUT CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST TO US: When Federer was asked about whether he stayed in the hospital when he was dealing with his bout with mono, he proudly reported, “They wanted to keep me there, but I said, ‘Roger Federer doesn’t stay in the hospital for this.’”

 

SHOT OF THE MONTH: J.C. Ferrero unleashed a between the legs, just inside the line, seeing-eye lob winner against Mario Ancic in Indian Wells.

 

YEAH, BUT HIS GROUNDIES WERE KIND OF AWESOME: After reporting that Agassi said that Asia Muhammad already has a better volley than he did, Barry MacKay said, “That wasn’t saying much.” Ouch.

 

WE DON’T WONDER WHY: When a reporter asked Sampras whether he and Federer ever chatted about their futile efforts to win the French Open, Pete replied “We don’t really want to talk about the French”... After Roddick was swept aside by Tommy Haas in Indian Wells (6-4, 6-4), he was asked “is there anything about Haas that gives you trouble.” Andy (who’s lifetime record against the German is 3-6) replied with great insight: “Apparently.”

 

WHY NOT JUST GIVE MARADONA A RED CARD: Italian Potito Starace lambasted Argentine soccer legend Diego Maradona for insulting him during his loss to Argentine David Nalbandian in Buenos Aires. Maradona was vociferously supporting his compatriot Nalbandian and Starace, a fan of Maradona’s former team, Napoli, claimed, “Maradona insulted me as soon as the match began,” Starace said. “Diego made me lose my head. I went to the umpire and  said to him, ‘Either you throw him out or I’ll go bash a racket in his teeth.’”

 

SYANARO SIGNAGE: When the ATP wanted to place a big sign across the net promoting (what else) the ATP, the tennis group brought Nadal and Federer out on court to get the powerful duo’s seal of approval. But the often-conservative (and in this case correct) Federer nixed the move to in-your-face-commercialization.

 

BATTERIES [AND BABY SITTING] NOT INCLUDED: After Lindsay Davenport talked about her warm relationship with Daniela Hantuchova, she was asked whether “the friendship has extended to baby-sitting.”

 

THE POWER OF CHAOS: No wonder fans can’t make heads or tails of the pro tournament schedule — during one week in February, there were three ATP events in Mexico, Memphis and Zagreb, and three WTA events in Mexico, Memphis and Dubai.

 

HEAD CASE: The lengthy seemingly unending investigation into possible gambling by Nikolay Davydenko seems to have taken its toll. The Russian noted, “Tennis is all about what you have in your head. If you feel crazy, then you lose matches. If you keep concentration, you can win anything” ... BTW: When Davydenko suffers a surprisingly bad loss, like when he went down 6-3, 6-2 in Indian Wells to Mardy Fish (who is ranked 94 slots below the Russian, questions inevitably surface about whether he dumped the match.

 

THE MOST LUCID PLAYER IN TENNIS?: The slumping Amelie Mauresmo is the most candid and reflective player on the tour. Recently she observed, “I try to be lucid. I try to put things into perspective, [to] step back and see what’s happening.”

 

YET ANOTHER DISMAL SETBACK FOR OUR OTHERWISE GLORIOUS SPORT: When asked whether he would rather play golf or tennis, golf addict Rafa Nadal confided, “I prefer play golf, no, because all the time depends on you, no? (On the other hand, Federer confessed “I don’t care about my golf handicap. As long as I get through the 18 holes, I’m happy and still have enough balls in the bag.”

 

SILVER LINING OF THE MONTH: Reflecting on the lingering gambling scandal in tennis, Steve Simon, the popular Pacific Life Open tournament director, told Eleanor Preston, “The good thing is that it’s eyes wide open and we’re addressing it, the integrity is just critical. If we lose that competition integrity, then we’re done.”

 

SAY IT ISN’T SO: Czech Radek Stepanek revealed that he learned his on-court celebration — a dance he calls “The Worm” — while drunk... When an Eastern European reporter with a very heavy accent asked Maria (“one of the sharpest pencils on the WTA desk”) Sharapova a question about Sigmund Freud, she replied “I don’t know who that is.” After the reporter explained: “the psychologist. Very famous?” Maria replied,”Oh, psychologist, sorry.”

 

GO FIGURE: Serena and Venus chose again not to return to the Pacific Life Open in their native California. Instead, they played the week before in Bangalore, India…Two qualifiers — Japan’s Kei Nishikori and South African Kevin Anderson — reached finals within three weeks. One trains in Florida and the other played collegiate tennis for Illinois…The WTA is continuing its one-and-a-half-year-old coaching experiment, which now allows players to call down their coaches anytime during a set. Maria Sharapova had no idea of the rule change...Only days after parting ways with his coach Jimmy Connors, Andy Roddick upended Nos. 2 and 3 Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic and then beat Feliciano Lopez to win Dubai…Nevada’s Asia Muhammad reached the final in Vegas. California native Serena Williams wins in Asia…The Spanish hotel owned by the clay-court dirtballer J.C. Ferrero features a grass court.

 

‘TUDE CHECK: Nadal has swagger.  Federer has an air.

 

BEST SUNSETS IN PRO TENNIS: Indian Wells.

 

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