Bach On Moog Synthesizer, Joyce On iPhone

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18thannualespyawardspreMYER-ED IN HUMOR: Of the John IsnerNicolas Mahut Wimbledon marathon, ESPYS host Seth Myers said, “No one has spent that much time on grass since Cheech and Chong.”  Added the SNL funnyman, “By the time the match ended, the ball boys were ball men.”

AND THEY SAY WE AMERICANS ARE A LITIGIOUS BUNCH: Lleyton Hewitt is embroiled in a court battle with Australian entrepreneur Josh Shiels over trademark rights for the catchphrase “Come On!”

MILLENIAL MOMENT: Tom Tebbutt called Francesca Schiavone‘s surprise win at Roland Garros “the unlikeliest result at a Grand Slam in the new millennium.”

WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT…: Former No. 1 Ana Ivanovic — who’s plummeted to No. 65 — said her main goal is “to win a couple more Grand Slam titles.”

ANOTHER FOOT FAULT?: Serena Williams says she cut her foot and will miss the entire World TeamTennis campaign.

THREE REASONS WHY WORLD TEAMTENNIS’ MARTINA HINGIS ISN’T PLANNING A COMEBACK ON THE WTA TOUR:

1. Noppawan Lertcheewakarn (Philadelphia Freedoms) def. Martina Hingis (N.Y. Buzz) 5-4

2. Abigail Spears (N.Y. Sportimes) def. Martina Hingis (N.Y. Buzz) 5-2

3. Venus Williams (Washington Kastles) def. Martina Hingis (N.Y. Buzz) 5-4

THE NUMBERS

30: Spots Mardy Fish jumped in the ATP rankings following his grass-court win in Newport, R.I. — from No. 79 to No. 49.

1: Grand Slam that Rafael Nadal has never missed since 2003 — the U.S. Open.

0: Teens in the WTA’s top 30 now that No. 4 Caroline Wozniacki has turned 20. (19-year-old Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova is ranked No. 31.)

$22.6 Million: The 2010 U.S. Open purse, an increase of $1 million over last year’s record amount and the richest purse in tennis history.

QUOTEBOOK

“We have to celebrate this for a whole year because it will be very difficult to repeat.” — Rafael Nadal on Spain’s World Cup victory

“A fun topic for some, but how many more hits would Bach have had if he’d had a Moog synthesizer? What if James Joyce had an iPhone?” — Joel Drucker on the cross-generational comparisons of Serena Williams and the likes of Steffi Graf, Martina Navratilova, Chris Evert, Billie Jean King, etc.

“I believe firmly that Pete Sampras would have beaten Roger Federer in a series of matches on hard courts and grass, no matter how slow the grass may be at Wimbledon these days. I feel his imposing serve-and-volley game and his big-match temperament would have stymied Federer in many ways.” — Steve Flink

“At 24, he became the second-youngest man to collect his eighth Grand Slam singles title, but the occasion begs the question: How much longer will Rafa be a viable threat, especially with this violent style of play?” — Greg Garber, ESPN