100%-UNDENIABLE-MAIL-IT-IN-YOU-CAN-GO-TO-THE-BANK-OR-BET-THE-MORTGAGE-ON-IT CERTAINTY: One thing we knew FOR SURE going into this year’s Wimbledon is that after years of hype and construction (plus buckets of pounds), the debut of Wimbledon’s snazzy moveable roof would be met with glorious, quasi tropical weather. So far there have been three bone-dry days in London and the usual scowling English skies have been smiling. While British cynics suspect a drought is on the way, Americans steeped in sports lore claim the dry spell is “the weather the roof built.”
PRETTY CLOSE TO SICK: American radio is pretty lively these days, but British radio ain’t too shabby either. Sure, Radio Wimbledon misses the wit of Eleanor Preston, but go up the dial a bit and you might hear the live feed of “Question Time,” in which vein-bulging members of Parliament grill (or defend) the Prime Minister, who dares not admit any wrongdoing. One politician said of PM Gordon Brown, “He cannot give a straight answer and is not big enough a man to admit he got it wrong.” Another MP told his colleague, “Mr, Fabricant, you must calm yourself. It’s not good for your health,” while another claimed, “The only gear left for this government is reverse.” All the while, the Speaker of the House, who seems to be the moral equivalent of a wrestling ref, futilely called out to the august members, “We must have some order in the house.” The Parliamentary debate was followed on-air by a lively shock jock who wondered about all the hooting and hollering in Parliament. He asked, “Am I alone now in this in finding this raucous – all those “yeahs” and “yaws” and “hoorays?”…I used to think it was rather charming. Now I think it’s ridiculous. [But, of course] the Americans absolutely love it. They think it is hilarious, human, natural, warm, organic. I think it’s ridiculous. Now that we know what a bunch of chilling profiteers they are, the fact is that they can’t conduct themselves with decorum. They would be flung out of any other job if they started shouting at each other and conducted themselves that way.” The announcer then turned on a dime, unleashing a rant about child rearing. “Are we putting our kids on the fast track to materialism?” he asked. “Children’s TV adverts aimed at four-year-olds are absolutely terrifying. Terrified parents are destroying their children’s future due to their fear of strangers or to rampant consumerism. It’s pretty close to sick.”
IF LIGHTS ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR WRIGLEY, WHY NOT WIMBY?: Marin Cilic beat Sam Querrey at 8:47 p.m. But if the match had gone on a bit longer, it probably would have been the first Wimbledon match ever played under the lights.
THE END OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION AS WE NOW KNOW IT: It used to be that the courtside signs featuring players’ names at Wimbledon were arcane wonders. For instance, the sign for Chris Evert, when she was married John Lloyd, referred to her as Mrs. J.M. Lloyd. (She was not pleased.) Now, for the first time, the signs are getting real and actually feature the players’ first names, not just their initials. God forbid, what’s next? Players being allowed to wear colors? Clay on Centre Court?
WASTING AWAY AGAIN IN SERENA-VILLE:
- Serena ‘Williamsova’?: Reflecting on the dominance of Eastern Euros in women’s tennis, Serena said, “I just know the standard – everyone is from Russia. Sometimes I think I’m from Russia, too – all these new ‘ovas.’ I don’t know anyone. I don’t really recognize anyone. That’s just how it is.” A reporter then joked, “So, are you saying you came to Compton from Russia when you were seven years old? Serena smiled and responded, “I think I am [Russian], and I think my name must Williamsova.”
- Boycott Babe: The Williams sisters know a thing or two about boycotts (think: Indian Wells). So maybe it wasn’t all that surprising that when Serena was asked what question from the press she was most sick of, she promptly said it was “How does it feel to play your sister?” She promptly added that if she was asked that question again, she might just boycott it. BTW, of course, Serena was immediately asked how it felt to play her sister.
- Serena on Sex: When asked to comment on the claim by former Wimbledon champ Michael Stich that the women were overplaying their sex appeal, Serena simply said, “Sex sells.”
- Culinary Commentaries: A reporter told Serena that “Wimbledon without the Williams sisters is like strawberries without cream.” Then Serena said that, even though there is a no eating‚ rule in the locker room, authorities put out bananas and candy bars.
VALLEY PUN OF THE DAY: Referring to Sam Querrey‘s hometown in the San Fernando Valley, observers at the All England Club had the guts to unleash the silly quip that the Californian’s chances of winning Wimbledon were about a “Thousand Oaks‚ to one.”
HEADLINE OF THE DAY: Wimbledon Shock – A British Girl Actually Wins
QUOTE OF THE DAY: “His life can’t be more perfect.” – Greg Rusedski on father-to-be Roger Federer
GO FIGURE: In a loud battle on Court 13, Italian Francesca Schiavone was almost as loud as super screecher (and super prospect) Michelle Larcher de Brito…The Royal Box partakes in the wave more than the press box.
