SIMPLY SUBIME: The past-your-bedtime, high-stakes drama of the Blake-Agassi quarterfinal for the ages, which featured the young and aging Americans with their compelling back stories, offered the roaring throng a battle of intense shot-making and athleticism with a Rocky II fifth-set tie-break. It all ended just after 1:00 a.m., but the memories will long remain, right there with the other classic matches in tennis history, from Borg-McEnroe to Connors-Krickstein, Ivanisivic-Rafter, and Sampras-Agassi to mention a few.

AND THE REAL WINNER AT THIS YEAR’S OPEN IS: Aaron Krickstein. With the Agassi-Blake match in the video archive, Aaron’s ‘91 loss to Connors is no longer go-to fodder for TV’s rain delays.

MAY THE MOJO BE WITH YOU: The Chinese have Chi, “the natural energy of the universe”; Indians have Shakti, “an encompassing universal force”; the Japanese have “Ki”; plus there are the concepts “élan vital” and “orgone”. And “Star Wars, of course, has “The Force”. And now, tennis (thanks, A-Rod) has mojo, which is defined as “a magic charm or spell, personal magnetism.”

“WILL THAT BE WITH HOT OR MILD SAUCE?”: Wayne Bryan, an avid opponent of gutting doubles, said doubles players “may be working at Taco Bell Monday Morning.”

SICK THOUGHT: Just as a news conference with Nicole Vaidisova was beginning, the door of the interview room swung open, and an anonymous voice called out: “Vaidisova...oh, that sounds like some kind of disease.” The embarrassed rising star blushed and then admitted with a smile, “I heard that.”

SIGN OF THE TIMES: Before the U.S. Open, a gallon of gas was less expensive than a pint of water at Flushing Meadows. Now it’s more.

FED THE KNIFE: When asked whether he thought Lleyton Hewitt (who had lost to him eight straight times) would now change his approach, Federer quipped, “He could, but then again he could run into the knife more brutally.”

HOW NOT TO GET AN AUTOGRAPH: A fan seeking a Chris Evert autograph called out, “Mrs. Lloyd can I ...?” Evert responded, “‘Mrs. Lloyd,’ - I’ve been divorced [from John Lloyd] for 20 years.”

WHO’S ‘BIZARRO’ NOW?: Justin Gimelstob claimed that women players live in a “bizarro” world with more and more skimpy outfits and predicted that that tennis “courts will resemble volleyball courts with g-strings and bikinis.” Gimelstob contended “if you look like a beached whale keep your clothes on” and suggested that women players were in competition with the super-model types who often date or marry ATP players. He added that women players “have to share the players lounge with the 1% most beautiful creatures in the world.”

Gimelstob’s friend Lindsay Davenport responded that “I’m always curious about what the fascination is with men and how they have to judge women constantly, what they wear, who they hang out with, what they look like.” Still she said she has a higher hope for men. I don’t think men are all that bad and judge woman based on their bodies. Davenport reported that she told Gimelstob “you can’t really represent all men?” Justin asserted “I do.” So she just said “okay” and walked away.”

ADVERTISING AGE: Yes last year’s American Express campaign in which airline passenger Andy Roddick gets hit in the head by his own trophy was inspired. But this season’s Roddick/Mojo ad campaign was one of the most disastrous in the annals of Madison Ave. For Am Ex to put all their eggs in Roddick’s problematic basket was absurdly shortsighted. Didn’t anyone tell ‘em about Reebok’s “Dan and Dave” campaign in ‘92 which banked on decathlon star Dan O’Brien doing well at the ‘92 Olympics. (He screwed up in the qualies and didn’t make the team.”) Anyway, as one critic suggested, “Am Ex had Roddick looking for his mojo when he should have been looking for his backhand.” Am Ex’s annoying (redemption doesn’t hitthe snooze button) follow-up campaign to fix the train wreck only made matters worse, plus the corporate spin offered up by Am Ex’s spokeswoman Judy Tensor made you think that Orwell didn’t know his sports. “It’s not all about winning and losing,” said Tensor. “It’s about engaging your customers. Clearly this was unexpected. But there’s always a next tournament.” ... The funniest ad we encountered was a sign on the train to the burbs which read “Keep Connecticut Wealthy: Go to GEICO.com” ... Agassi confided “the older I get, the more I get into tradition.” Still his Canon ad announced “once a rebel always a rebel.” Not so boldly, Andre explained “sometimes I feel like I’m itching to do something I shouldn’t be doing.” ... While we’re at it: Western and Southern Financial Group kindly dump all your ads with the off-putting old guy who tells MBA-style campfire stories to kids disinterested in annuities.

A CHANGE IS GONNA COME: A super-expensive roof to cover Ashe Stadium is not yet in the cards, but there are plans afoot for the installation of a kind of vast canvas covering atop the stadium to provide greater shade, intimacy and value for the ozone seats. Cost -$12 million. Plus there’re plans to replace the old indoor court building (think aluminum) with a new $40 million structure with courts, spiffy hospitality areas and display space for a New York version of the International Tennis Hall of Fame. Cost -$40 million.

SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE: Selena Roberts said Lleyton Hewitt is “unvarnished, irascible and impolitic. In other words, he hasn’t changed a bit.”

SKID MARKS TO KILL FOR: Kim Clijsters.

ALL THE MORE REASON TO CELEBRATE THE ATHLETICISM OF GINGER ROGERS: When asked whether her sneakers helped her pull off her incredible strattle-splits, Clijsters said, “Well I wouldn’t be able to do it in high heels”

MUSINGS ON MILES: Jon Wertheim reflected on the life and times of outgoing ATP chief Mark Miles, noting that he could “walk in to a hotel meeting room in the morning and in the afternoon come out a darker shade.” He then advised Miles, “If you ever wanted to sell your secret, heck, we could reinstate the bonus pool!” Wertheim noted, “when Andre Sa, who’s barely come within sniffing distance of the top 50, has made more money than John Newcombe did, is there any question that you, Mark, ultimately, did right by your constituents?” Werthieim’s final take was that the jury was still out on Miles’ career and that ultimately he was “as much a survivor as a true leader, more a pragmatic politician than a dynamic visionary.”

KEEP ‘EM “MILES” AWAY: Here’s a short list of who NOT to invite over to Mark Miles’ farewell soiree: Lleyton Hewitt, Argentineans, Houston promoter Jim McIngvale, Greg Rusedski and every doubles specialist on the tour.

MODERN RETRO IN AN OLD STYLE: When Selena Roberts asked Federer to describe himself. The stylish, continental traditionalist suggested that he had “a retro style, like go back to the roots in a way, but in a modern way, it’s like they have all these restaurants now -- modern Indian, modern Arabic, modern this and that...I’m modern retro in an old style, you know, with new technology. That’s why I have many admirers from old times. I’m still very all-around, of course. Not with big weapons, but players who play me, they know what the weapon is. They know that if they give me a short ball, it’s gone, even if it doesn’t look that dramatic. It’s more of a fluid game, which is no scratches, which is round, and that makes it more dangerous. My ability is to be like a chameleon, maybe.”

THE PEOPLE’S COURT: Of the notables on hand, Robin Williams and Dr. Phil got the warmest receptions when their images were flashed on the Jumbotron. Fox commentator Bill O’Reily, who was lustily booed, got the worst.

THE SUPREME COURT: Nancy Spears, the daughter of Chief Justice William Rehnquist, remembered her father’s love for tennis. She told the L.A. Times that “he played a regular doubles match with his three law clerks and usually chose the best player.” According to the Times, “She once asked her father if he chose his law clerks just because they were good tennis players. ‘Not at all,’ she reported him as replying. ‘That’s one of several factors.’”

NEW YORK NOTES: You can still get a fairly decent cup of coffee for 75 cents ... There’s a restaurant called Papaya Dog and a bar called The Four-Faced Liar...Two symbols -- one spiritual, one secular -- reign there: the crucifix and the New York Yankees logos...Mountains of garbage bags are a mainstay in some parts...You check out the business card of the curious guy you’ve just encountered on the Upper West Side. It reads: ”Transformational Entrepreneur. Transformational Business, Boot Camps, This-and-That Auction Services, New York Bed & Breakfast, Training Consultant, The Academy of Natural Healing, Light Coach, Alternative Finance Broker, The Chair Massage Company, Wellness Consulting, Hypnosis, Master of Vertical Network, Author of Nine Books.”

THE TALL GET TALLER: Sharapova, who’s about 6-foot-2, has grown an inch since March. This prompted her coach, Robert Lansdorp, to tell her, “At this rate, you better start dating [6’10”] Ivo Karlovic.”

NEWS FLASH: POETRY DIES AT FLUSHING MEADOWS!: The Open suffered an outbreak of wretched Sharapova poems. Our “favorite”: “Maria Sharapova, with your oh-so-short hemline, take my hand and show me to the Krem-line.”

ELENA’S LAMENT: After Mary Pierce’s 12-minute timeout in the semis, Dementieva complained, “I don’t think it’s fair ... If that’s the only way she can beat me, then it’s up to her ...That’s the way she wins. She [always] takes advantage of some little distraction.”

THE SCARIEST ADVENTURE IN TENNIS: Elena Dementieva’s serve.

NOT TO WORRY, FRANCE AND THE U.S. DO HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON: Last year, Elena Dementieva stunk up BOTH the French and U.S. Open finals (winning just 11 games in four sets.) This year Pierce did it, winning just six games.

AND THE PETE SAMPRAS NOW-THE-MONKEY’S-OFF-MY-BACK MEDALLION GOES TO...: Defending champion Svetlana Kuznetsova, after her first-round loss, said, “Everybody’s a little bit tired...I just want some time off. Now nobody will disturb me about ... being the U.S. Open champion.”

TOP TEN HEADLINES
It’s Roddick’s Birthday. Surprise!
No Svet
Murray Stomachs Gutsy Victory
Sis, Boom, Blah: Ugly Win For Venus
Service Blake
Blake, Rattle and Roll
Belgian Doesn’t Waffle
Old Man Winner
Agassi Is Latest To Be Finalized
Footloose Martha [Stewart]

NUMBERS
0: Number of times a Grand Slam tournament has been played on a two-tone court since 1877.
$33,846: Amount per minute Clijsters earned during her brief win against Pierce in the final.
75 million: Number of Arthur Ashe stamps printed.
2: Number of bones Blake broke in his neck in “04.
$200 to $300 million: Amount proposed to spend on installing cameras on New York City subways.
0: Number of matches 16-year-old Donald Young has won on the circuit in seven attempts (and he hasn’t won a set).
9,999: Martina Navratilova’s singles ranking (she’s 23 in dubs).
$25,000: Cost of a non-prime-time luxury day session suite at Ashe Stadium for 19 of your best friends.
8: Number of the four Grand Slams and five Masters Series won by Federer or Nadal this year.

WITH FRIENDS LIKE THAT, WHO NEEDS ENEMIES: Pat Mac is one of the nicest guys in the game, but why did CBS circulate this garbled PR release? “Patrick McEnroe on Venus vs. Serena: Venus is playing better. I still like Serena. I think she’s got more to prove right now, having had such a dismal year. But I like Serena. Venus looks a little bit sharper. I think the younger sis moves on today.”

‘TWAS JUST A “MINI”-FLING: Robby Ginepri dismissed his romance with Minnie Driver as “just a little fling.”

RING IN HER NOSE, SASSY T-SHIRTS, TEEN ANGST, ‘TUDE, AND PRAY-FIVE-TIMES-A-DAY BELIEFS: Sania Mirza.

MIRZA CAUTIONED: The International Herald Tribune reported that a top official of the little-known Indian Sunni Ulema Board, Haseeb-ul-Hasan Siddiqui, said Indian Muslim Sania Mirza’s dress was “un-
Islamic” and that she “undoubtedly will be a corrupting influence.” He suggested that Mirza follow the example of Iranian woman at a recent badminton championship, who wore long tunics and headscarves. Mirza reportedly will play a Calcutta tournament under the watchful eye of armed female commandos.

RODDICK’S BRAD ATTITUDE?: Selena Roberts noted, “Roddick’s mojo never returned last night. It might be out somewhere wearing a Raiders cap.”

BODYBUILDING THEORY OF THE MONTH: Mary Carillo suggested that Rafael Nadal’s arms were so strong because of all the fist-pumps he unleashes.

HALL-OF-FAMERS: The initial ballot for next year’s Hall of Fame class includes Patrick Rafter, Gabriela Sabatini and German Michael Stich.

ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE ASKING THE RIGHT GUY: Time Out magazine asked Stan Smith (who, let’s face it, ain’t Mr. Charisma) why men’s tennis is so dull?

NOTE: PLEASE DON’T MENTION THE FOLLOWING TO FELIPE ALOU: Taylor Dent said, “My impression of South Americans is [that] is if you fight one, you’re fighting the whole clan. So South Americans are kind of off-limits.”

THE NEXT SAMPRAS: Justin Gimelstob, according to Time Out magazine, in his youth was hailed as the next Sampras and even the Tiger Woods of tennis.

BATTLE OF THE BALD: Andre vs. Blake.

BEST MATCH (NON-BLAKE AGASSI DIVISION): The 4-hour, 25-minute triumph of Italian Davide Sanguinetti (who has a penchant for animated conversations with his strings and loves to blow kisses to the crowd) over Thai Paradorn Srichaphan (with his Buddhist bows, athleticism and Asian charm and humor.)

SMILE THOUGH YOUR HEART IS BREAKING: James Blake’s mom Betty reflected on her son’s recovery, telling Christopher Clarey, “You don’t know how I feel when I see him smiling. To see him smiling again without it being crooked. He would smile, and half of it would work, and you knew he wasn’t really smiling, because he was still wondering whether he’d ever play again.”

THE SOUND OF MUSIC: When McEnroe played the blues standard “Who Do You Love” with Bo Didley during the opening ceremonies he played an E-minor chord, without changes, for the full song...Wayne Bryan suggested, “We have to have music all over tennis. When you have music, you have liquid architecture.”

NICE INNOVATIONS: Gracious fountains on the South Plaza, the new manual scoreboard, blue courts, keeping balls when they’re hit in the stands, winners blasting balls into the promenade after their victories.

SWEET MEMORIES: Fabrice Santoro’s knowing smile, Bo Didley, a bounty of five-setters, the best weather in years and huge, appreciative crowds.

PUTTING IT ALL IN PERSPECTIVE: Reflecting on the stress of his U.S. Open run, Agassi said, “I’ll never have more pressure on me than when I’m cutting my little girl’s fingernails.

TOUR DE LANCE
IT: Mr. Armstrong, on the Champs-Elysees, just after you won the Tour de France, you mentioned that Agassi was one of the athletes you most admire?
LANCE: You mean why do I admire him?
IT: Sounds good to me.
LANCE: Because he’s been around a long time. He’s always been good. Clearly, he’s one of the hardest-working guys in his sport. He’s all about passion. I know him to be a good guy.
IT: Of course we lost [Pete Sampras’ coach] Tim Gulikson to cancer. Is there a connection between your work in fighting cancer and tennis?
LANCE: A bit, but the first thing is just because I’m a fan of the sport, I love to play...
[Out of nowhere, John McEnroe appears]
MCENROE: Just wanted to say hello.
LANCE: Hey dude, how are you man! I sat with your dad.
MCENROE: I saw that. Congrats again on the Tour.
IT: Is there a connection between what you saw out there today and cycling?
LANCE: These guys are pure athletes. Potentially, there’re 4- or 5-hour matches. That starts to be hard work, very hard work.
IT: Do you admire the great variety of Federer’s athletic skills, or is the true grind of cycling...
LANCE: This is the first big-time tennis match I’ve ever seen, but, you know when they hit the serves 125, 120 miles an hour, it’s incredible.
IT: You have to travel from America to Europe to do your thing. Is it all the more impressive that a European, a Swiss guy, comes all the way here and wins?
LANCE: I could relate to what he was going through. But you need to remember, when I go to Europe and race, they’re not congenial like that. Today they were cheering for Andre, but they weren’t booing Federer. When he got up there and accepted his award, nobody booed, but you can’t say that about French always.
IT: If you get to go to dinner with any tennis player, whom...?
LANCE: Andre Agassi, because I know it’ll be a good dinner. Because I know him to be a good, fun guy. But, I better be quiet. Is McEnroe still around here?
Andre is just a person I’ve always looked up to.

DOWN IN THE (NICOLE) MIND
After watching Venus Williams take down Daniela Hantuchova from the second row of the President’s Box, Nicole Kidman retreated to the President’s dining room, where after she partook of some steak and far-too-delicious lobster she spoke with IT. The Aussie transplant, who studied ballet during her youth, told us that the reason she liked the sport was “its movement and athletic grace.” Kidman, who’s worked extensively in the field of breast cancer prevention, viewed Agassi (who was by his mother’s and sister’s sides as they fought to survive the disease) as “a wonderful man.” So what advice, we asked, did Nicole have for all the rising stars in tennis who are beginning to face just a touch of the pressure she feels from being in the limelight? The superstar offered a succinct, thematic reply: “Keep your eye on the ball.”

TENNIS AND BOXING: GRILLING GEORGE FOREMAN
IT: Many have said there’s a similarity between tennis and boxing. It’s one-on-one, mano a mano. You’re out there all alone. It comes in handy to have a knockout punch...
GF: You’ve got so much time out there on a tennis court when you can panic. You’ve got to have endurance. Skill is not going to hold you up. When I watch the tennis, I always think about a boxing match. They’re young, a lot of these guys, and it’s so much to ask.
IT: You were boxing when you could have been swaying in a rocker. Any similarities between yourself and Navratilova, who’s competing at age 48?
GF: Yeah. You pull extra for them because they’re not supposed to be doing it. It’s an unthinkable thing, but she’s doing it.
IT: What boxer would make it on a tennis court? Sugar Ray Leonard played some.
GF: Right now, at the level these guys are playing, no boxer could do this. But Roy Jones Jr., Sugar Ray Leonard, they could have been great tennis players.
IT: Could you see Connors or maybe even someone like Agassi doing OK in boxing’s lighter divisions?
GF: Yes. If Connors used his left hand like he did on court, he’d get in some hooks.
IT: You weren’t exactly known for your foot speed. (I don’t believe I’m telling George Foreman this; you’ll probably knock me out.) Still, in boxing, footwork is key. Is there a correlation there with tennis?
GF: Yes. Tennis is all about footwork. If you’re out of position, you may as well not have that racket in your hand. In boxing, you could be the best puncher in the world, but if you’re out of position, you can’t do it.
IT: What’s your favorite thing about tennis?
GF: Every young American can look at it and say, “I want to do that.”

ANDY ROONEY: ‘NOT A VERY LITERATE BUNCH’
Q: So what’s better, tennis or golf?
A: Golf takes too long. It’s like sailing. It’s fun and it’s a good sport, but I don’t think it compares to tennis. Tennis you play for an hour and a half, two hours. You get a lot of exercise. Somebody wins and somebody loses. Golf, you pick up the ball and hit it, walk for 10 minutes, you hit it again. I fail to understand the fascination with golf. The golf courses are beautiful. I can understand all that. If you like walking, I guess it’s a good game, but I don’t care for it.
Q: Mark Twain once said, “Golf is a good walk spoiled.”
A: If he said it, I agree with it.
Q: What about the difference between tennis and hockey?
A: Hockey is one of the worst spectator sports there is. It’s impossible to watch on TV. You can’t follow the puck. It’s like soccer. It’s dumb for hockey to have NOT to’ve made the goal six inches wider. It’s not interesting when the score’s 1-0.
Q: And the NFL and tennis?
A: I like tennis a lot, but I played football in high school and college. I love the game. I think it’s the greatest game. I can still play tennis, but I can’t play football. Tennis is a great lifetime sport.
Q: There have been so many great figures in the game - Ashe, Connors, McEnroe. If you could have a conversation with...
A: I’d like to see them play, but I’m not interested in talking. I don’t know if any of them have much to say. Ashe was probably the most literate of the bunch. He said some great things. I greatly admired him. But I can’t think of any other tennis player who ever said anything memorable.
Q. And do you have a favorite tennis memory or two?
A. I don’t do that question.

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