PLANET SHARAPOVA TO TENNIS WORLD — WATCH OUT!: Yes, that was Sharapova’s 10-year-old cousin working out with (who else) Robert Lansdorp. She’s not as tall as Maria, but she already has a better forehand volley.
SIX STEPS, TWO GRUNTS AND A LAST-SECOND LUNGE: Agassi chasing down a dropshot.
AS WELL AS THE FATE OF HUMANITY: While trying to explain why China’s (three in the top 100) players skipped Wimbledon to play a regional event at home, Peng Shuai’s coach, Alan Ma, contended, “These decisions affect two billion people.”
THE EVE OF DESTRUCTION: Sweden’s doubles maven Jonas Bjorkman blasted the changes in doubles, saying, “I just hope and pray it’s not going to happen, because it’s going to destroy the [doubles] game completely.” His partner Max Mirnyi was more upbeat, suggesting, “We’ll never know unless we try. It’s worthwhile giving it a try and seeing whether we get some of the top [singles] guys playing.”
HAWKEYE DOWN!, HAWKEYE DOWN!: After extensive testing in New York, the Hawkeye electronic scoring device proved it couldn't see straight, flunked it's test and was sent packing for the season by the ITF's technology police. Unlike our own eye tests, it wasn't a matter of having no clue what that black burr was down there on the seventh row of the eye chart. Instead, Hawkeye wasn't able to consistently cut it on calls within five millimetersrs of the lines. According to one IT source, the system was only 86 percent accurate on such balls, which is arguably worse than us blind-as-a-bat humanoids can do. Still the USTA is upbeat and hopes to install electronic line-calling at the '06 U.S. Open.
NOW HERE IS A COUPLE OF (POWER TO THE PEOPLE) IDEAS WE CAN REALLY COZY UP TO: After Hawkeye was nixed, Peter Bodo suggested that the USTA “give every spectator a huge cardboard thumbs-up or thumbs-down cutout, and whenever there’s a controversy over a call, let the fans decide. Or you could rig up a simple Applause-O-Meter and wire it to the big replay Jumbotron.”
QUICK, CALL AN AUSSIE. THESE NICKNAMES ARE SUCKING AIR: The U.S. Open Series marketing campaign has been a jolly success. But some of the nicknames they came up with were — let’s be kind — semi-lame: Mardy Fish — The Bachelor; Vera Zvonereva — The Drama Queen, and James Blake — The Harvard Guy. And these days, does Taylor Dent really want to be dubbed “The Bomber?”
GO FIGURE: During World TeamTennis play, John McEnroe’s challenged line calls five times. Instant replay vindicated him just once...Actor Matthew Perry, once a Canadian junior player, said he would rather win Wimbledon than an Oscar...Agassi admitted he should have skipped the French Open to play Wimbledon instead...Andre lost the last two sets he played at the French Open 6-1, 6-0 and then, after being on the shelf for two months, came back to L.A. and won the first two sets he played 6-1, 6-0...Brad Gilbert claimed that the key to Agassi’s game is that “he takes out his opponents lungs out”...Andre doesn’t know how to use a computer ...Respondents to a Sports Business Magazine survey voted that, of the major sports, the ATP does the worst job of marketing its brand, behind even the NHL. The ATP got 0 percent in the mag’s poll...Sports Illustrated has had Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong on its cover twice this year. Neither Federer, Venus, Nadal nor Aussie Open winner Serena has appeared once this year...Sharapova and Serena had to pay $100,000 because they skipped the Acura Classic at La Costa...On the 60th anniversary of the bombing of Hiroshima, two Japanese players, Ai Sugiyama and Akiko Moirgami, met in the Acura Classic semis...Donald Young has lost 10 first-round matches...Brian Baker has lost 20 straight first-round matches...Due to the branding requirements of the U.S. Open Series, the Stanford Cardinal courts are Cal and UCLA blue.
WHILE YOU OR I ARE THRILLED TO GET A $23.67 REFUND CHECK FROM THE PHONE COMPANY: Early in his career, Agassi got a $1.4 million check in the mail that he wasn’t even expecting.
A DREARY REALITY: With the delightful exception of Andy Roddick hosting Saturday Night Live, tennis’ efforts to provide mainstream entertainment vehicles have been dreary. The big-screen movie Wimbledon was vapid, and John McEnroe’s reality game show was beyond ill-conceived and his talk show — McEnroe — had only 287 red-state viewers. And now, sadly, Venus and Serena’s new reality show (complete with free-form dog chases and golf cart races) is drawing fire as must-not-see TV. The L.A. Times suggested that “as reality series go, Venus & Serena — is pretty real. There are no phony tests in which one sister has to drink the sweat of the other or go on dates with mere mortals. Nor does anyone get voted out of the family ... But how real is it to watch the prosaic routines of someone who makes millions? The daily grind is the daily grind...It’s not Venus and Serena’s fault that the show is a dud. They are intelligent, attractive and energetic young women living out their dreams on a very large stage, and there should be something inherently dramatic in that. The problem is that the show fails to find a line that ties together the various elements...[But] it is certainly real —
real dull.”
COME TO THINK OF IT, PLEASE DON’T: After being off the tour for two months, Agassi’s first press conference featured wide-ranging exchanges. Then, after 21 minutes, a writer had the temerity to ask, “Can I bring up a very odd subject — this tournament.”
AGASSI FOR CONGRESS: Nevadan Gil Eisner has suggested an “Agassi for Congress” movement, saying Andre is the type of person to fill “the need for new leadership in running our country.” But Agassi, who’s registered as an independent, shut (but didn’t slam) the door on the idea, saying, “While I am flattered...I presently have no plans to enter the political arena.”
A LOYAL (OR NOT SO LOYAL) LAD: After a wildly successful but sometimes contentious 19-year run with Nike, which reportedly was topped off by a $20 million balloon payment in January, Agassi switched to adidas. So Agassi watchers might jump to the conclusion that Andre isn’t a loyal guy. After all, years ago, right after losing a match in Vermont, he told his people to “fire Fritz” — his chaplain. And as the seasons have passed, Andre has also parted company with his original manager Bill Shelton, his brother-handler Phil and three coaches: Nick Bollettieri,
Pancho Segura and Brad Gilbert. He’s sometimes been a fiercely loyal Davis Cup player, other times not. He’s played with rackets from three companies — Prince, Donnay and Head — and yeah, we know, one unsparing day he cut loose from all his hair. Plus, his companion, Brooke, snapped courtside shots with her Minolta (Andre’s got a big Canon deal). But, truth be told, Andre’s perhaps the most loyal guy in the game. There’s no tighter entourage relationship than his friendship with his longtime trainer/guide/confidante Gil Reyes. His high school pal, Perry Rogers, watches his back as his tireless manager and, in a more global sense, there may not be a more loyal family guy around tennis. Plus, in all of sports, no one does more charity work than Agassi, who raised over $11 million last year for his academy, far more than twice as much the second place fundraiser, Lance Armstrong. And what other tennis player since Ashe or Billie Jean has been more true to his sport than Agassi who, many contend, has been carrying the game on his shoulders for years?
PERFECTIONIST PARENTS: In ‘92, after six years of futility, Agassi scored a four-set victory over Goran Ivanisevic to win his first Grand Slam at Wimbledon. But when he came home to Vegas, the first thing his dad Mike asked was, “How come you lost the fourth set?”...When John McEnroe’s father, Patrick, came home to tell his wife, Kay, that he finished second in his class at Fordham law school, Kay replied, “See what you could have done if you had really worked hard?”
WHERE HAVE ALL THE FLOWERS GONE?: Federer, Serena, Venus, Davenport, Roddick, Agassi, Boris Becker, Mardy Fish, Taylor Dent, Nicolas Kiefer, Serena, Venus, Davenport, Sharapova, Mary Pierce and Henin-Hardenne were just some of the players who were no-shows or dropouts this summer. No wonder Doug Robson coined the term “withdrawalitus.”
TENNIS IMITATES LIFE CHAPTER 34,687: Just as Israel was gearing up to pull out of the Gaza Strip for political reasons, Harel Levy and Noam Okun were gearing up to pull out of Israel’s Davis Cup tie against Zimbabwe for monetary reasons.
NOW, CHARLES, ONCE YOU’VE BROUGHT ME AND MRS. JAMES OUR TEA, DO BLAST A 125 FIRST SERVE DOWN THE T, AND THEN, IF YOU WOULD, CRUNCH A BACKHAND VOLLEY: When Brits introduced tennis to the King and Queen of Korea in 1892, Queen Minis is said to have commented, “These Englishmen are becoming very hot. Why do they not have their servants do it?”
WHAT’S WORSE: What would be worse for California tennis? If the vastly popular Pacific Life Open leaves Indian Wells; if the mecca of Northern California tennis, the San Francisco Tennis Club, is sold to a condo developer or that the splendid Tennis Channel (that so skillfully acquires the rights to compelling tennis events like the Masters Series, Newport etc.) continues to remain so widely unavailable in so many places so that many a good tennis event is effectively blacked out?
GOOD VS. EVIL FOR THE SOUL OF MAN: In a delightfully inventive series, ESPN.com had a battle between the good and bad guys in sports. Tennis had one representative among the 12 good guys and one among the dozen bad guys. Of course, John McEnroe joined sports’ other problematic characters (Bobby Knight, Ty Cobb, Ron Artest, Bill Romanowski, Albert Belle, John Chaney, Bryan Cox, John Rocker, Jack Tatum, Bob Gibson, Billy Martin and Michael Graham), while Arthur Ashe was tennis’ representative among the good guys, which included David Robinson, Ryne Sandberg, Walter Payton, Tom Brady, Tom Landry, Tim Duncan, Steve Largent, Phil Mickelson, Cal Ripken, Jr., Steve Garvey, Alex Rodriguez and Oscar De La Hoya.
MIRROR IMAGE: These days, both men’s tennis and golf are shaped by five top performers: one dominator and four leading contenders. For tennis it’s Federer and his four challengers — Roddick, Hewitt, Nadal and Safin. With golf, it’s Tiger followed by Singh, Goosen, Els and Michelson.
HEY, SERENA AND VENUS, YOU DON’T STAND ALONE: Lacrosse, Wisc. sisters Lizzie and Katie Hoeschler are dominant force in women’s log rolling.
TALL TALE: Daniela Hantuchova, 5-11 1/2, confided, “I always thought I was a tall one. But not anymore.” And, indeed, the Cincinnati Enquirer noted that Lindsay Davenport is 6-2 1/2, Venus is 6-1 and Maria Sharapova 6-2; that the average height of the players in the top 20 was 5-9 1/2 and the only top 20 players under 5-6 are Justine Henin-Hardenne (she’s not so bad) and the resurgent Patty Schynder.
WHAT’S NEW AT THE OPEN: Fans can keep errant balls when they go into the stands (it’s about time)...Plain old water will be available (it’s about time)...There will be XM Satellite Radio broadcasts...A fancy water spectacular will be on the plaza...There will be a manual Fenway Park-style scoreboard...The winners of the U.S. Open Series will play for twice the money...McEnroe will play Lendl on a downtown street-court. And how could we forget — blue courts.
IT KINDA STINKS: Mike Bryan, who, with his brother Bob, has lost in the doubles finals of all three Grand Slams this year, told IT, “It’s frustrating coming so close in the big ones. Sometimes I would rather lose in the semis. You spend the night before dreaming, and then having to watch another team celebrate kind of stinks. But it also keeps us gunning for more. We aren’t satisfied. We still want another title bad.”
STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH NO PLACE TO GO?: American tennis fans are watching with a curious mix of frustration, patience and dismissiveness the second generation of B-level players to emerge in America since the Fab Four of Sampras, Agassi, Courier and Chang. After all, Andy Roddick's peers — Taylor Dent, Mardy Fish, James Blake and Robby Ginepri — are all fine players. But none have yet reached a Grand Slam quarterfinal. Vince Spadea, 31, who overcame a horrific mid-career slump to score some nice wins, noted that "there's talent in the group, but they've been sporadic. They haven't shown that drive to greatness ...Once you're 24 or 25, if you haven't won a major, people pretty much give up on you as a potential great ... [and] you're labeled a journeyman. I've been there."
IN SEARCH OF CORE OF JAMES SCOTT CONNORS: The Sunday Times notes, “In the opening scene of The Aviator we find a young Howard Hughes being washed by his mother in front of a fire in Texas. She is lecturing him on the importance of cleanliness. Unwrapping a fresh bar of soap, she warns him of the diseases found in the suburbs where the coloureds live and asks him to spell the new word she has been teaching him. Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E,” he says. Jimmy Connors is not Howard Hughes, but any attempt to reach the core of the spirit that drives him begins in the same place that Scorsese did — with a small boy and his mom and a lesson he must learn at their St. Louis home. Gloria Connors cleared the land behind her home to build a tennis court ...[and] every day after school Jimmy would take the racket in his hand and follow her outside for the lesson — “T-I-G-E-R.” Gloria Connors once explained to Frank DeFord, “I played him every day...We thought of him as a tiger. Get those tiger juices flowing! ...I told him to try and knock the ball down my throat, and he learnt to do this because he found out that if I had the chance, I would knock it down his. Yes, sir. And I would say, ‘You see what even your own mother will do to you on a tennis court?’”
SAY IT AIN’T SO: Marat Safin’s knee surgery reportedly went poorly...Former U.S. Open and Wimbledon finalist Mark Philippoussis lost early in the L.A. qualies.
TRAVELIN’ MAN: According to Deuce magazine, last year, Roddick took 37 flights, visited 10 countries on four continents, traveled 106,911 miles and thus pocketed $24.36 a mile.
TIME WILL TELL: Alexandra Stevenson, who's returning from injuries and has a not so jolly ranking of 673, was nonetheless upbeat, saying "I'm floating the balls in there and the girls [I'm playing] know just what to do ... But my doctor promised me that eventually I'll be able to serve at 130 mph. I'll be the bionic woman"...Navratilova said, “I know I could play into my 50s, but I know that’s not going to happen.”
COMINGS AND GOINGS: Congrats to Bridgette Wilson and Pete Sampras on the birth of their second son, Ryan Nikolaos ... Sadly, Mercedes won’t be around next year as the title sponsor when the L.A. men’s tournament celebrates its 80th anniversary.
ASTOUNDING STAT: Federer has won 21 straight finals.
A GENIUS, AN ARTIST, A THUG
AND A SIEGEL: When asked
who he would want to go out to dinner with, Jimmy Connors said, “Thomas Edison, Vincent van Gogh, Al Capone and Bugsy Siegel.
‘TWAS JUST A MATTER OF TIME: Nike’s expanding its capri pants line for the fall. (And, by the way, when she returns, ain’t it only sensible for Jennifer “Capri-ati” to wear capris?)
GREAT COUPLES IN TENNIS LORE: Reportedly, there was a spark between Roddick and Sharapova in L.A. during the ESPY awards and afterwards at the Playboy mansion. We don’t want to leap to any conclusions, but it got us thinking about other high-profile tennis related duos of the Open era. Here’s our top 10 list: 1 Agassi-Graf; 2 Connors-Evert; 3 McEnroe-Tatum O’Neal; 4 Agassi-Brooke Shields; 5 Agassi-Barbra Streisand; 6 McEnroe-Patti Smythe; 7 Roddick-Mandy Moore; 8 Evert-John Lloyd; 9 Evert-Andy Mills; 10 Anna Kournikova-Sergei Federov.
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