RON ANGLE/BE IMAGES
The day after her Centre Court Triumph “V” took in some rays in St. Tropez.
JUSTIN TIME The Wit and Wisdom of Justin Gimelstob “I’m all about arms, legs and mouth.” “I don’t know if you guys have seen my body ... [it’s] part Jewish, part Christian, part upper-class upbringing [and] working as hard as you can genetics. There’s no anabolic-ness going on here.” “Sampras knew he could beat me with one leg.” “I’ve cost a few Davis Cup coaches their jobs.” “I’m basing most of my tennis career on the anticipation of getting a big inheritance.” “This is my moment. You don’t understand where I’ve been. Let them learn. Let me get my opinions across.” — To a Wimbledon official who wanted to cut off his (“15 minutes of fame”) press conference. “It’s not that great of a last great hurrah.” — When asked if his run to the third round at Wimbledon was his last hurrah.
GETTY IMAGES
Sania Mirza, an Indian pioneer with a forehand.

PRESS ROOM DIALOGUE FOR THE AGES: Reporter I: “Venus could lose anytime.” Reporter II: “She could lose even sooner than that.”

GO FIGURE: 9/11 occured two days after the U.S. Open. The London bombings occured four days after Wimbledon ended...Overweight Serena said (with a straight face), “I worked extremely hard the last week, but I guess a week wasn’t enough...Angela Haynes’ father Fred noted, “You wouldn’t run miles a day if you had millions in the bank”...Before Wimbledon it was thought that Federer, due to three losses, was having an off year...Roger has already announced that his goal for next year is winning the French Open,the one major that has eluded him...Four of the last seven women’s Grand Slams finals were played against women from the same country...Wimbledon’s outside courts are slower than most other grass courts...Roland Garros’ clay is faster than most European clay courts...Justine Henin-Hardenne, who’s twice won the French Open but hasn’t prevailed at Wimbledon, said, “My game is more suited for grass, but my personality is more suited for clay”...Wimbledon has a 25-year plan...Federer, who was greeted by 3,000 fans in his hometown of Basel, says he’s even good at breaking rackets. His coach, Tony Roche, won’t be at the U.S. Open because he’s made a commitment to work with Aussie juniors.

THE INDIAN ‘IT’ GIRL WITH ALLAH HU AKBAR GROUNDIES: She’s the most famous woman in India you’ve probably never heard of Sania Mirza is a pray-five-times-a-day Muslim with, dare we say, Alllah Hu Akbar groundies, who’s so big in India she can’t even go out for a little vegetable korma in her hometown of Hyderabad without being hassled. Said to be India’s first great female athlete, she’s now No. 70 in the rankings and rising nicely, despite injuries. And yes, the 18-year-old, who was recently honored by India’s prime minister, doesn’t exactly fit the stereotype of the (blend into the background and be deferential) Muslim woman. For instance, her wardrobe doesn’t feature the traditional burka and, at Wimbledon, her T-shirts offered such messages as “Well-behaved Women Rarely Make History,” and “Attitude Unlimited.” (Editor’s Note: We say, you go girl.)

EAT YOUR HEART OUT, USTA: Billy Graham drew 230,000 to Flushing Meadows in just three days.

LET’S GET LITERARY: When we realized a Russian junior named Pavel Chekov was playing, a few other tennis players with literary last names came to mind: Michael Joyce, James Blake, John Fitzgerald and Kimberly Po.

VOICES FROM THE GRASSROOTS: Here are some of the salt-of-the-earth comments and signs we noted: “Federer is Betterer”...”Hewitt, take a valium”...”Watching those umbrellas blow inside out, that’s the fun bit”...”I had two hours of tennis for 10 pounds. That’s good. I’d have spent more than that in the pub”...”Grunting — that’s what I do when I tie my shoes”...A woman going through Wimbledon security: “It took a feat of absolute engineering to pack this bag”...The best fan T-shirt we spotted: “I try to take it one day at a time, but sometimes several attack me at once.”

WHAT’S GREAT ABOUT GREAT BRITAIN: Henman Hill...36-hour queues for Wimbledon matches...Gardening is the national sport...Buses and trains have upholstered seats...The 11:42 train from Chelmsford leaves exactly at 11:42...Great in-your-face (or should we say “off-with-their-heads”) history...The weather forecast begins something like this: “They’re spits of rain coming in with the possibility of clearing patches before teatime”...Despite mud ‘n floods, the Glastonbury and Live 8 festival...A reporter who lives in a house in a little village that was built in 1486 confides, “They’re dozens of people I speak to all the time, but only about the weather. I don’t even know where they live or who they are”...The papers cover the semis of the big dart tournament in Vegas...Andy Murray explained his exhaustion at the end of his match by saying he was “knackered”...As the drama in a match builds, the commentator reports, “It’s all bubbling up rather nicely.”

ARROGANCE? WHAT ARROGANCE?: After noting that Lleyton has lost to Federer eight straight times, a reporter asked, “How do you stay so relentlessly positive?” Hewitt replied, “That’s probably why I’m sitting here and you’re sitting there.”

NOW, AT LAST, WE KNOW WHAT MADE HIM SO DIFFERENT: Goran Ivanisevic is the only Wimbledon champ whose entire name alternates between consonants and vowels.

POOR LITTLE RICH GIRLS: Serena once complained about how tiresome it was to shop for chandeliers. Sharapova complained about how tedious it was to have to sniff 20 different perfumes before choosing her preferred fragrance. And, by the way, Sharapova, who’s been chasing No. 1 for months, still hasn’t made it. If she does, she reportedly gets $10 million in bonuses from her sponsors.

PROBLEMATIC PARENTS: Russian-American Dimitry Tursunov, the son of a nuclear engineer, joked, “While other dads were working on their classic cars, my dad was down in the basement working on a nuclear bomb and was pointing it at you guys”...Laura Granville’s dad forgot to enter her into the French Open...When reflecting on the lack of hunger and drive among young Americans, former Father of the Year John McEnroe joked, “I tried to starve my kids, but it didn’t work”...When IT suggested to Andy Murray that he has “one cool mom,” the dumbfounded Scot responded, “Come on.”

WIMBLEDON OR ANIMAL HOUSE?: A reporter asked Federer if he’s taken his cow Juliette (which the Swiss government gave him after his first Wimbledon win) out to munch on the grass at Wimbledon ... When asked if he would someday replicate Venus’ victory leap, Federer said, “I’m not a kangaroo.”...The London Times reported there were feral pigeons and a pied wagtail on the roof of Court One and the swifts that “filled the skies above Wimbledon had a perfect “unlookawayability.”...Roddick said that he hit a forehand against Sebastien Grosjean like a bunny...Simon Barnes wrote, “As I watched Rafael Nadal vanish from Wimbledon in a blizzard of mistimed shots, I was reminded of the time I rode a camel. I am used to riding horses. It was not that I couldn’t ride the camel, it was just that it felt so peculiar. I wanted the camel to like me, but I didn’t feel in a position to trust it. The response time was different, the movement felt different, the motion of the animal felt different. I did okay, but it didn’t feel right. And I suppose Nadal did okay, but it didn’t feel right for him either. The stuff he was playing on was green and not red, it was fast and not slow, it was living and not dead. Nadal clearly wanted to make friends with it, but he never felt in a position to trust it. And so he lost to Giles Muller...The Royal Society for the Protection of Birds said that, unlike Australia, tennis hasn’t caused the death of a bird in England, but a sparrow was killed at Lord’s during a 1936 cricket match and was subsequently stuffed and is now on display in the grounds’ museum.

NOBODY BEATS ANDY RODDICK 32 TIMES: Roddick quipped, “I want another crack at Federer — until my record is 1-31.”

art seitz
ABSOLUTELY, AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER SUPERMODEL LOOKS: When Sharapova’s agent, Max Eisenbud, was asked to talk about the fact that his client pulls down over $20 million a year, more than Serena, the next best paid player on the tour, he responded, “It’s not about the money, it’s about winning, working hard and becoming a great champion, and this is what makes her so appealing.” (Observers say Maria can look forward to some day raking in Tiger-like money — $77 million a year.) JUST WAIT: Sharapova warned us, “Wait until I get muscles,” while Federer cautioned “Wait until I have a really good year.” DOES SACRILIGE HAVE NO LIMITS: Swede Thomas Johansson asserted that Sharapova wasn’t that good looking and that he didn’t fancy her. DOES SACRILeGE HAVE NO LIMITS II: According to Christopher Clarey, Conchita Martinez told Spanish journalists, “What girls like Sharapova want to do is sell at any cost. But I wouldn’t do things that she does. I would not act that way. If they told me that I must play in a bikini top to sell...I wouldn’t do it. I’d save my bikini wearing for the beach.”
ANY QUESTIONS FROM THE MEDIA? “Justin [Gimelstob], how will you explain to your kids that you’re a “lucky loser”? “Andy [Roddick], what was the last question you were asked that surprised you and what was your answer?” “Did Rafael Nadal’s tailor make his shorts too long or his trousers too short?” “Maria, are you disappointed in the reserve British gentlemen have shown you?” “Do you think the sport should change because people’s attention span is less than it used to be?” “Lindsay, this isn’t a hard tournament, is it?” “Andy, did you have to prove to yourself as well as the public that you can still win really big matches?”
HEADLINES WHY THE PAIN OF RAIN FALLS MAINLY ON THE BRAIN MANE MAN (ON LONG-HAIRED RAFAEL NADAL) NEW NETS PLEASE (AFTER ONE COLLAPSED) GRUNTING GIRLS TOLD TO STOP THEIR RACKET MARIA’S THE SQUEAL DEAL FEDERER IS BJORN AGAIN HE’S BECKER THAN BORI S LLEYTON BLEW IT RODD RAGE VENUS IS ABOVE PA SHARAPOVA AND OUT VENUS 1 GODDESS 0 VENUS WAS SIMPLY ON A DIFFERENT PLANET BORE WAR THREE TEARS FOR ROGER AWESOME FED JOINS THE IMMORTALS HEADLINES (HENMAN DIVISION) DOES TIM REALLY HAVE A PRAYER? TIM’S THE RICHEST FAILURE IN SPORT HEN GETS PLUCKED YOU’VE BLOWN IT FORGET HEN HILL, IT’S MURRAY MOUNT TIM WHO?

PSYCHIC PHENOMS
• A writer noted that Venus’ press conferences were “spatial.”
• Andrew Castle said Federer’s “space awareness” was unlike any other players.
• Sharapova thanked “the fairy God” after an extraordinary let-cord gave her a big boost in the quarters.
• A tabloid headline said, “What Di Really Thought of the Psychic Who Claims She Slept With JFK JR. “
• CNN featured the following dialogue between the Bryan brothers:
Mike: “We’re pretty telepathic. I know what he’s thinking.”
Bob: “Yeah? What am I thinking now?”
Mike : “You’re thinking I just gave a crappy answer [to that last question].
Bob: “Yeah, you’re right.”
• The Guardian boasted that they were “always first with news from the astral plane” and proudly published the [pretty much incorrect] predictions of “astrologer Foon Chik, who informed us that “Henman will announce he’s quitting after he bows out in the semis. The men’s final will go to Hewitt — a metal rooster’ — while the women’s will see Serena (metal rooster) beat Davenport (fire dragon).”

AND THE GREG LOUGANIS MEDALLION FOR EXCELLENCE IN DIVING GOES TO: Justin Gimelstob.

A FELLOW CAN TAKE JUST SO MUCH ABUSE: Sue Mott recalled that “two things happened in ‘00 which must have had a bearing on the most riveting collision on Centre Court yesterday. People magazine voted Mark Philippoussis one of the sexiest men alive, while the same organ included Marat Safin in their Most Intriguing People issue. You can see how that would hurt a man, and sure enough Safin, the moody Russian, came out guns blazing in search of personal vindication.”

WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE? Two of the game’s nicest women — Kim Clijsters and Amelie Mauresmo — are the two best women never to have won a Grand Slam. David Nalbandian and Tim Henman are the two best guys never to have won a major.

THE BURGER PILGRIMAGE: Richard Williams claimed that he took his daughters on a cautionary (“you better get your act together”) journey to see an ex-tennis player who had fallen so far that he was flipping burgers. But when told the tale Venus seemed dumbfounded and said she couldn’t recall the burger pilgrimage.

FROM TRAUMA TO DRAMA: When he was nine, Scot phenom Andy Murray hid in the office of the headmaster of his school in Dunblane as a mass murderer killed 16 kids, a teacher and himself. Immediately thereafter, the school staff sang songs to the surviving children to try to calm them. Murray went on to win the Orange Bowl and the U.S. Open Junior Championships and was the post-Henman talk of the town at this year’s Wimbledon. His mom Judy predicts his first win at a major will be the U.S. Open in ‘08. Of course, just as all the Murray hype peaked, one pressroom cynic quipped, “It’s all downhill from here,” and the BBC noted, “He’ll now be going back to challengers and playing before two people and a dog.”

HEROIC IN WILL, IF NOT OUTCOME: Sue Mott wrote, “Henman out. Murray in. Cruel business, this handing over of the baton to the new runner 12 years younger, who inherits the hopes of a nation racked with nerves and emotionally disemboweled by the man who went before. What can you say about a Henman? He is a one-man rack, a thumb-screw on legs, but heroic in will if not outcome.”

WORDS WE THOUGHT WE WOULD NEVER HEAR: After a Murray match, Sue Barker said, “Now let’s drop in on ‘the other Andy’”: (cough, mutter — that would be Roddick).

grunt IT ISN’T SO: McEnroe claimed that with all the grunting going on these days, Monica (“the mother of all grunters”) Seles wouldn’t make it onto the top 10 all-time grunters list.

KNOWING ANALYSIS: Patrick Kidd began his analysis by noting Donald Rumsfeld’s famous observation: “There are known knowns: things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns: we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns — the ones we don’t know we don’t know.” Kidd then added that the first two days here “have indeed given us the usual selection on known knowns, known unknowns and more than a handful of unknown unknowns.”

YET ANOTHER ADMIRAL STOCKDALE MOMENT: Boris Becker was front and center at a press conference promoting London as the 2012 Olympic host city. Before he began his pitch for the British capital, he noted, “You probably wonder what I’m doing here, a German.” As part of their surprisingly successful bid to get the games, London played up that the Olympic tennis would be played at Wimbledon and they noted that after the Olympics were held in London in 1908, officials recommended that tennis in the games be played on grass.

HOW soon THEY FORGET: Becker noted that Federer was into his third straight Wimbledon final, “Something I never did.” Wrong, Boris: you were in four straight finals from ‘88 to ‘91.

WHO’DA THUNK IT?: America’s two most charismatic players, Agassi and Serena, have won only two matches in the last two majors... Venus is the first woman in 50 years to come back from being match point down to win Wimbledon.

MILLS’ MEMORIES: Retiring Wimbledon referee Alan Mills said his favorite memory over his 29 years was the middle Sunday in ‘91 when, due to rain delays, officials let the masses in to hoot’n holler where previously the properly tweeded and civil folk had reigned. Mills also observed, “The players are a reflection of life. Five percent are a bit difficult. They think they are bigger than the game, but the majority is wonderful. Competitive, obviously, and extremely single-minded, but extremely nice.” The man who’s suspended play more than any human being on this planet then added a rueful note, recalling that “as soon as the fans saw me [come on court] they knew they were going to lose their tennis.”

DIVERSITY DATA: For the third straight year, the eight quarterfinalists were from eight different countries... Wimbledon was a record sixth straight major that was won by a woman outside of the top five seeds…There were three women in the draw — Venus and Serena and Angela Haynes — who’d played at the same public park in Compton and six of the 13 American women in the draw were African-Americans.

007 TIMES THREE: There were three James Bonds — Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan and George Lazenby — at Wimbledon this year and Lazenby’s wife, Pam Shriver, is pregnant again.

OLDIE BUT GOLDIE REMEMBRANCE OF THE MONTH: The late BBC commentator Dan Maskell used to criticize players’ ball tosses by saying, “Your throw-up has been high all day.”

BEST GRAY-HAIRED PLAYER IN THE WORLD: John McEnroe.

‘TWAS JUST A MATTER OF TIME: Japan has a Sharapova stamp.

PUTTING IT ALL IN PERSPECTIVE: A worker emptying the trash said, “You know, it’s a privilege being here at Wimbledon.”

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