MUCH ADO ABOUT MIA: Lleyton Hewitt and his wife, Aussie soap opera princess Bec Cartwright, have been criticized for their public personas. Some accuse them of only granting interviews to journalists who pay or who are certain to lob “softball” questions, and Bill Muehlenberg of the Family Council of Victoria claimed they were “a couple noted to cash in on weddings, babies, birthdays and anything of public interest.” So perhaps it’s not surprising that the duo showed off their baby daughter Mia (who was wearing a fancy little outfit that matched her mom’s designer dress) while presenting a prize on an Australian award show. Hewitt joked light-heartedly, “Maybe you’ve heard we had a baby recently.” Still, the duo drew considerable criticism for keeping their five-month-old up late. Web critics were livid, and psychologist Michael Carr-Gregg contended: “Celebrities should keep their children at home and under wraps. I saw it as totally exploitative.” In one online poll, 10,000 respondents said the couple was “virtually pimping their daughter.” But the couple’s manager Bob Aivatoglou told the Herald Sun, “I don’t recall Beck and Mia being apart for one night since the baby was born.” Nonetheless, Muehlenberg countered, “Against an option of a babysitter or taking an infant out on a cold night, into spotlights and noise, my choice would be easy.”

OH MY GOD, SUCCESS IS BREAKING OUT EVERYWHERE: Without much warning, tennis is now relishing its best rivalry (Federer vs. Nadal) since Sampras and Agassi. This, of course, comes on the heels of tennis launching two extremely controversial but highly successful reforms: the mind-bending changes in doubles play and the introduction of Hawk-Eye, the electric line-calling system. But whoa! Somehow we don’t get the vibe our sport will suddenly get rid of all its Balkanized ruling fiefdoms, create a sensible schedule, allow on-court coaching, put names on the backs of players’ shirts and build a bunch of intimate stadiums.

THE BEST DAMN FED-NADAL COMPARISON PERIOD!: Christopher Clarey noted that “Federer, with his grace and flow and polished technique…[appeals] above all to the older set; he is even wearing all white this spring. Nadal, with his soccer mannerisms and pirate pants and more unorthodox technique, seems tailor-made, if not exclusively made, for the younger generation. Federer, the neatnik, doesn’t like you seeing him sweat. Nadal, long hair flapping under his bandana and biceps glistening in the afternoon heat, couldn’t care less if you notice. Federer is for the introverts, Nadal for the extroverts. Federer is for the artists, Nadal for the hustlers. Federer is for the righties, Nadal for the lefties. The surprising thing, at this nascent stage of something potentially quite special, is that Federer is for the underdogs.”

OH WELL, MY LOCAL ZEN BUDDHIST SAID THERE’S VALUE IN ‘BEGINNER’S MIND’: The ATP’s incoming chief marketing officer, Phil Anderton, comes from a background in Scottish rugby and soccer and ain’t exactly an inside-the-beltway tennis veteran. According to the Sports Business Journal, he confided that he knows so little about the sport that when a young fellow joined him at a players meeting in Miami, he almost asked, “What do you do?” The young man proved to be none other than James Blake.

JOUNRNEYS ALONG THE WHITE MILE: The refreshingly unconventional Patty Schnyder and her husband/coach Rainer Hofmann naturally wanted a different kind of player website: “To use a tennis ball and a smiling face seemed too normal for us and our story.” So they dubbed their website “The White Mile” because “at the beginning, all seems white, but the deeper you go, the more colors you will find. Many things rested in the dark but once discovered you will definitely be surprised by the truth. A mile can be very long, especially if it’s white.”

THE BACKHANDS ‘N’ BONDAGE CONNECTION: A woman handcuffed herself to the net post during a Rafael Nadal match at the Barcelona Open. Sporting a white mask and a T-shirt calling for Catalan independence, she was led away after a brief delay…Goran Ivanisevic confided that a woman once sent him a pair of handcuffs and some chocolate at Wimbledon. “First time in my life I see handcuffs,” the Croat confessed, “[and] I see there’s something like chocolate, it’s like a tube...you paint the girl probably. I don’t know what you do with it. I know from who, but I can’t tell you.”

‘KNOW YOUR PLACE, SWEETIE, SECOND BEST’: Many an opinion was bandied about concerning Wimbledon’s unwillingness to provide equal pay to men and women. Some feel the notion of “fairness” should not even come into play, while CNN.com’s Candy Reid contended, “This is probably not going to be a popular answer, but no, I don’t think the women should earn as much money as the men…Playing five sets is much tougher than three, especially on slower courts where matches can last beyond four hours…[plus] there are more competitive early-round matches in men’s tennis than in women’s tennis and to win a Grand Slam, the guys (with the exception of Federer) have to win seven tough ones. Billie Jean King asserted, “Entertainers don’t get paid by the hour. They get paid, period.” For her part, Venus Williams said, “I really hope that I am the last woman in tennis history to be paid unequally,” while WTA Chief Executive Larry Scott contended, “We’re not manufacturing widgets here. We’re in the entertainment business.” British writer Sue Mott jumped into the fray, noting, “It is clearly not a money thing. Wimbledon could afford the $57,000 [payment differential between the men and women] in the context of their huge [$47 million] profit. It is a message thing. The girls aren’t quite good enough. Know your place, sweetie, second best…At the risk of sounding like a shop steward, it is not the money. It is the principle. Equality is a perception thing. Sport could, and should, take a hand in suggesting women deserve equal treatment. The knock-on effect could be bountiful.”

LEST WE FORGET: Just a few years back, Wimbledon chieftain Tim Phillips responded to questions about why the tournament didn’t pay equal prize money for women. He claimed that if they did, they wouldn’t have enough money to spend on the petunias.

PUBLICITY STUNT OF THE MONTH: In response to the AELTC’s inequity in prize money, the British bookmaker gamebookers.co.uk has offered 30,000 pounds (about $53,592) to the eventual Wimbledon women’s singles champ.

TENNIS TIP OF THE MONTH: At the opening of Vegas’ Red Rock Resort, Andre Agassi — ensconced in the high-limit pit — gave a dealer a $25,000 tip. Using local slang, one observer said, “Talk about a King Kong George.” Actually, Agassi might be one of the biggest tippers in sports. After all, his father Michael came from Iran to America, landing in Chicago with $13 and then made his way to Vegas and supported himself and his clan almost exclusively on tips as a casino greeter.

SPEAKING OF GORILLAS: Bud Collins observed: “The monkey is off Roger Federer’s back – Rafael “Rafa” Nadal has grown into a gorilla.”

THE MOTHER OF ALL TENNIS FATHERS FROM HELL: Marinko Lucic is in the running for the dubious distinction of all-time tennis “Bad Dad.” According to the once promising Mirjana Lucic, her father regularly beat her with a Timberland shoe. She told the New York Daily News’ Wayne Coffey that on one occasion, after defaulting from an Italian event when she was 14, her father — a former Olympic decathlete — hauled her into the bathroom, put her in the bathtub and beat her for 40 minutes. When he was done, he gave her money and told her, “Go out and buy an ice cream,” Lucic contends. “The trouble I’ve been through, I wouldn’t wish on my own worst enemy.” Goran Ivanisevic said that, “[Marinko] was never happy. I saw how bad he talked to her. I would break down if somebody talked to me like that… He ruined her life.”

CONSPIRACY THEORY OF THE MONTH: After reports surfaced that his estranged daughter Jelena was involved in a minor car accident with her Croatian boyfriend, Damir Dokic claimed she was the victim of a Croatian conspiracy against Serbian sport.

JUST WONDERING: What will come first, equal prize money at Wimbledon or women being accepted as members at the Augusta National Golf Club?…What’s worse, the U.S. Open’s Arthur Ashe Stadium or Candlestick?…Was that really Anna Kournikova at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner, where Stephen Colbert did his thing?…Who’s more like Jimmy Connors, Lleyton Hewitt or Pete Rose?… Who’s once-so-promising career has flamed out more profoundly: Marcelo Rios, Alexandra Stevenson, Jelena Dokic or, for that matter, Serena Williams (despite her seven Grand Slams)?... Speaking of Flameouts: Whatever happened to Swedish tennis?

TWO OUT OF THREE AIN’T BAD: Richard Williams has made three prescient predictions: that his daughters Serena and Venus would become the No. 1 and No. 2 players in the world, that Serena would become a better player than Venus, and that they would be out of the game by their mid-20s. The first two predictions have come true. Will the third prove correct?

POLITICAL TWIST: Tennis is no stranger to recent California gubernatorial politics. ‘02 Republican candidate Bill Simon was a player at Williams College, an all-American squash player and is now the CFO of the Tennis Channel. Governor Schwarzenegger has a court in his Pacific Palisades backyard, and tennis is the first love of politico Phil Angelides. At age 12, the Democratic primary hopeful was ranked No. 5 in NorCal and at 19, he sought the seat of then Sacramento Councilman Burnett Miller, who, according to the Sacramento Bee, was a family friend who years before had chased Angelides off the courts at the Sutter Lawn Tennis Club. One foe from Angelides’ early days told the Bee that the State Treasurer was “a very competitive person. He doesn’t have the classic strokes, but, oh boy, he’s a tenacious fighter.” Plus, fellow Democratic gubenatorial candidate Steve Westly is a tennis buff and recently hosted a fundraiser at the Riviera Tennis Club in Pacific Palisades.

IMMIGRATION HAS ITS REWARDS: A countless brigade of rising talents have migrated to America to hone their skills. Navratilova, Lendl, Seles and Sharapova immediately come to mind. But as the tennis world focuses on Roland Garros, it should be noted that many a standout has sought a haven in France: Yannick Noah from the Cameroons, Marcos Baghdatis from Cyprus, Tatiana Golovin from Russia and Mary Pierce from the U.S., to name a few.

SO MUCH FOR SPORTS BRINGING THE WORLD TOGETHER: Not only is there talk of Australia bringing its own security force to Argentina when little-loved Lleyton Hewitt leads his Davis Cup team into passionate Buenos Aires, but the July Fed Cup tie between Indonesia (the world’s most populous Muslim nation) and host Israel is proving problematic. For starters, the two countries have no diplomatic relations, and Indonesia prohibits sports teams from competing in the Jewish state. When Indonesia asked to move the match to a neutral venue, Israel said no way.

GIVING NEW MEANING TO THE TERM FED CUP: As an ATP pro, Fed has won 44 singles and doubles trophies.

SUPER SUNDAY: The World Cup soccer championship, which begins in the middle of the French Open, will play its final on Sunday, July 9, the same day as the Wimbledon men’s final.

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THE TOUGH GET GOING: At the Aussie Open, Russian Nadia Petrova rather ruthlessly called out her coach, Alexander Mityaev, whom she had just hired. “He’s a good person and tennis-wise he’s not bad,” she contended, “but our characters don’t fit together. He’s a bit too soft on me. I’ll be looking for someone else after this tournament.” In fact, she soon hired Tomasz Iwanski and then proceeded to have a sizzling breakout stretch, winning at Amelia Island, Charleston and Berlin.

WUZ HAPPENING: Tragically, Tennis Week publisher Gene Scott (seemingly so fit and energetic) suddenly passed away. The flamboyant, high-profile founder of the Tennis Channel, Steve Bellamy, stepped down amid controversy, as did the network’s chief marketing man, Bruce Rider. And the newspaper The Scottsman reported that business superpower IMG (despite its recent signing of Roger Federer) was suffering from “spiraling losses… turnover, client defections, executive resignations and the rush to sell off their prime profit sectors.”

BARRY’S BOND WITH TENNIS?: Okay, the controversial baseball slugger Barry Bonds doesn’t have much of a connection with tennis, but:
• Like last year’s suspended French Open finalist Mariano Puerta (and many other Argentine standouts), Bonds’ accomplishments are tainted by possible drug use.
• When John McEnroe was inducted into the Bay Area Sports Hall of Fame, he quipped, “I can’t help but get a swollen head. I feel like Barry Bonds.”
• Bonds once presented McEnroe with a souvenir bat. Said Bonds, “I was teasing him about how he throws his racket. He said, `If you don’t get a hit, you should break your bat.’ I said, `If I hit a home run, I’ll give it to you,’ and I did.’’
• Both Bonds, and Lleyton Hewitt made GQ’s Top Ten Most Hated Athletes list. (Bonds was No. 2 behind Terrell Owens. Hewitt was No. 10).

THE ULTIMATE SILLY [SHARAPOVA DIVISION]: A selection panel that included Maria Sharapova and Arantxa Sanchez-Vicario hand-picked seven male models from a field of 15 to become ballboys at next November’s WTA Championships in Madrid. Some of the hunks lost ground when Sharapova asked them who their favorite female player was, and the hopefuls responded Amelie Mauresmo and Kim Clijsters. Another candidate was unable to name the ‘04 Wimbledon champion, Sharapova herself.

THE ULTIMATE SILLY [KOURNIKOVA DIVISION]: When the Atlanta Journal Constitution asked Anna Kournikova who her role model was, she replied, “Oprah and Queen Rani Al-Abdullah of Jordan.” When asked whether she had retired, the Paris Hilton wannabe said, “I really don’t know in my mind, in my heart yet.” (What? She hasn’t played a WTA singles match since ’03.) But the topper came when Anna was asked whether she was still married to singer Enrique Iglesias. She joked, “I’ve been married six times already. I’ve been pregnant four. I’ve been divorced seven. What else has happened? Oh yeah, we’ve been dating other people 500 times.”

WHICH FED FIRST?: Which of the following will Federer do first:
• Gain a winning record against Rafael Nadal? He’s now 1-5.
• Win the Grand Slam? He’s won the last three majors, but the French Open is the only major in which he hasn’t even reached the final.
• Break Sampras’ all-time record of 14 Grand Slams? The 24-year-old already has won seven.
• Marry his longtime beloved companion Mirka Vavrinec?

THE TRUTH ABOUT TROPHIES: Yes, folks were stunned a while ago when word came out that Borg was going to be selling five of his Wimbledon trophies. Eventually, none other than John McEnroe convinced him otherwise when he got on the phone and asked his former foe and current friend, “What’s going on?” McEnroe told the Boston Globe, “The bottom line is, upon reflection, he realized [the idea of selling his trophies] was creating something he didn’t want created. If in fact he does need the money—and he told me he doesn’t—there’s a better way to deal with it than selling your Wimbledon trophies.” But McEnroe then confided that the conversation got him thinking about where his own trophies were. “I found one. I have a house in the Hamptons. I saw one out there this past Easter. One is where I live in New York City. The other one, I think it’s been over at Nike for a while.” Plus, there’s the infamous tale of Lindsay Davenport’s mother, who lost her daughter’s Olympic Gold Medal until [phew] it turned up in a box in the attic. And Martina Navratilova was recently outraged when some of her Wimbledon trophies and medallions, which she somehow lost track of, were sold online.

ONE-SLAM WONDERS: Now that Albert Costa and Conchita Martinez have retired, who is the least recognized one-Slam wonder who’s still active — Thomas Johansson, Svetlana Kuznetsova, Anastasia Myskina or JC Ferrero?

WHO WOULD HAVE THUNK IT?: The move in ‘84 to bring tennis back to the Olympics, after a 60-year hiatus, helped spark the imposing Russian revolution. Now, in anticipation of the ‘08 Beijing Olympics, Chinese tennis is on the rise. Jie Zheng won the singles in Portugal, while Ting Li and Tian Tian Sun took the doubles. And, while Chinese players inexplicably passed on Wimbledon last year to play a ho-hum tournament in China, they should be on hand this year. Plus, 200 aspiring line judges recently took part in an ITF seminar on officiating. Twenty will work the lines at the Wimbledon qualies and five will remain to officiate at Wimbledon itself.

I WANT MY MTV: Elena Dementieva recently starred in a video for Russian pop sensation and confessed tennis nut Igor Nikolaev. The video shows Dementieva waking up in bed, her blond hair falling over bare shoulders; sauntering in skimpy jammies; pouting behind the wheel of a silver Mercedes; and purring over Nikolaev’s piano.

‘DEM WERE THE TIMES: In ‘82, there were 32 players in the top 180 who were from or went to college in Northern California. Now there are three.

LEGAL BLOTTER: Mirjana Lucic has sued IMG, claiming that her former management company used medication, mind games and willful deceit to sabotage her career. (IMG had earlier sued Lucic for defaulting on $83,000 in loans)…Boris Becker is awaiting a court ruling in Germany on whether he’ll be liable for $1.9 million in losses following the collapse of his Sportgate website. Adidas has taken Nike and German clothing manufacturer Tom Tailor to court, claiming that both companies have infringed on its three-stripe trademark. Plus, Lleyton Hewitt just settled a suit with a Sydney Harbor cruise operator, and Agassi recently won an appeal on his London case over what taxes he has to pay on his earnings made in Britain.

KEEPING UP WITH THE LEFT COAST: Truth be told, the USTA NorCal has gained a fair bit of notoriety over recent years for its melodramatic, intense, Hatfield vs. McCoy neighborhood spats. But lo and behold, the USTA’s Eastern Section is now trying to keep up. Amidst controversy and accusations of racism, a lawsuit was recently filed to overturn a recent Association election that installed Dale Caldwell as the group’s president.

GIRLTALK: Serena was recently spotted at Miami’s Opium club sharing vodka cocktails with NFLers Thomas and Julius Jones…Maria Sharapova has purchased a home in Manhattan Beach.

THE NUMBERS:
45 x 30 x 30: Maximum size, in centimeters, for the one bag fans will be permitted to carry onto the Wimbledon grounds this year.
3: Size, in inches, of the Polo Ralph Lauren logo that will be on the Wimbledon ballkids’ uniforms (half the size it was at the ‘05 U.S. Open).
32: Years that the U.S. Open has offered equal prize money to men and women.
661: Former world No. 4 Jelena Dokic’s current ranking on the WTA Tour.

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