Inside Tennis: Simply Wacky Part 1, Numbers 16-20, May 2005

cover story: may 2005


art setiz	getty images	beimages
Anna Kournikova	Martina Navratilova	Yannick Noah

vince spadea Grand Rapper V	16	On court, he’s as mundane a baseline battler as you can get. Off court he’s simply wacky, dabbling in screenplay writing and rapping. An example: “Roddick is the hottest product After I played him, I needed an antibiotic He’s not robotic But he’s patriotic I had a thought in my head, he hit a serve and I forgot it Roddick If he’s in a tournament, you boycott it.”

martina navratilova
Interesting Times

We could start by simply saying “There’s only one Martina!” But nah, that would be a not-so-nice diss of Hingis. Instead let’s just note that the philosophers tell us it’s always good to live in interesting times. And Navratilova’s times have been intriguing. First, she fled Communism - alone and unsure — to a Big Mac world that was slow to embrace her. Here, she ran smack into a flawless, beloved foe - perfect Ms. Chrissie — who made her seem kind of difficult: imposing, awkward, rough-hewn, vulnerable.

But serve-and-volleyers trudge on. So Navratilova hit the weights, only to hear whispers that she was on drugs. She popularized the Haas diet, only to be mocked by McEnroe, who boasted of being on the Haagen Dazs diet. In a “stick to your forehands and backhands” universe, Navratilova was a heart-felt environmentalist, animal rights activist and gay icon. She addressed an adoring crowd of 100,000 in D.C., but after a victory early in her career she was so alone she had to resort to hugging an aluminum pole. More than any other player, she mastered the art of the entourage. But one girlfriend — novelist Rita Mae Brown shot out the window of her BMW, while another, Judy Nelson, sued the pants off her.

Worldly, gutsy, ever curious, outspoken, true to her occasionally shaky self, she has long been aware of life’s paradoxes (once noting that under Communism, there was no freedom of press, while iin the West there was no freedom from the press). One of the greatest to ever pick up a racket, she’s still drawing crowds when many women her age, 49, are merely thinking of drawing pictures with the grandkids.

yannick noah
Fun, Humanity and Generosity

He was one of the great free spirits our game has produced. Part poet, part philosopher, heartthrob, clown and reggae/rock star, a practitioner of yoga, a purveyor of joy, an entertainer who combined it all in an exotic, endearing package, wrapped in a dreamy French accent and topped by flowing Rastafarian locks. Noah was not your garden-variety French Open champion turned Davis/Fed Cup captain. “Fun, humanity and generosity were the reasons people came to see me,” he observed. “I never would believe that people came to see my backhand. Otherwise the stadium would’ve been empty...Winning isn’t my main goal. Beauty is.”

The man who once had an African witch doctor use a panther’s tail to successfully heal his knee, poignantly noted, “The motivation for most people, is to make tennis bigger, with more sponsors. Who is there for the love of the game?”

billie jean king
You Go Girl

The fireman’s daughter quickly morphed into an international firebrand and never looked back. No woman athlete ever pranced about with more spit and vinegar than BJK. She essentially launched women’s pro tennis, jump-started the ‘70s boom with her “Battle of the Sexes” victory over fall-guy/chauvinist Bobby Riggs and was the irrepressible dynamo behind the big-time spike in prize money for women. No target — Polytechnic High School in Long Beach, the Southern California Tennis Association, the basic structure of tennis — was too big, not even the hallowed All -England Club. Take this, Prince Charles: “It is a sad fact that Wimbledon remains a distant fourth among the Grand Slams in the percentage of money it pays women,” she said...“It’s led many to consider a ‘girlcott’...Treating women as less valuable generates ill will that is disproportionate to the money you’re saving.”

Crave a passionate opinion, Billie’s your go-to girl. The tireless entrepreneur and singular pioneer of women’s athletics can wax philosophic on anything from the effect of Title IX on collegiate sports, to the perils of computer games for kids. Still, the co-founder of World TeamTennis loves her yellow ball, and ‘till the day she keels over, will fight for the fan-friendly, gender-conscience and often sensible reforms she treasures. How important has BJK been? Just imagine the game without her.

anna kournikova
The Heat is On

Zany she’s not, but fun-loving, cagey and savvy she can be. Pop superstar Enrique Iglesias’ favorite squeeze not only continues to tease the world in revealing photos, but keeps her fans up at night wondering whether she’ll ever come back to the tour. She’s nice enough to play a dozen charity events a year, but mean enough to countersue her parents over real estate. The Queen of the web and founder of the Russian Revolution, she’s the biggest sex symbol in sports history and clearly understands her role. She’s still banking nearly $10 million a year, although her serve is still a mess and she hasn’t played a tour match since ‘02 (and that’s right, the former Wimbledon semi-finalist never won a singles title). “When I was 12, every little girl in Russia was trying to wear her hair like mine and playing tennis,” she said. “A court is like a scene: people want to see attractive people.”

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