FED FILE: Eleanor Preston claimed that Federer “doesn’t sweat, he glows.”...In Indian Wells, Bud Collins asked Federer, “Is there something that comes over you and you say to yourself, ‘God, I’m Flying?’…Roger himself said he sometimes is “absolutely surprised” by his own shot making and also confidently confided, “I like records once in a while. I’ve made some here”…He also said if could play one player from the past, it would be Bjorn Borg.

BRYANS SURVIVE PLANE SCARE: The Bryan Bros. — so young, vital and central to tennis — recently survived a harrowing scare when the small private plane they had chartered escaped tragedy. Twins Bob and Mike — along with their buddies and competitors Mark Knowles and Daniel Nestor — were en route from Palm Springs to Atlanta on March 19 when their plane lost cabin pressure. All aboard could have lost consciousness and fallen asleep in an eerie manner similar to the ill-fated plane golfer Payne Stewart succumbed in. But an alert pilot took notice and returned to Palm Springs, where, for two hours, the charter circled in icy silence in order to burn off fuel, before safely landing.

	Michael Chang, long known for his wheels, finally had his feet betray him when he played the senior Champions Cup in Naples, Florida. After suffering a torn Achilles heel, the 34 year-old flew to L.A. for emergency surgery.

TO EACH HIS OWN: Agassi said the one thing he would have changed in his career is to have started his charity foundation earlier. Mark Philippoussis said that the one thing he’d change is that he would have started surfing earlier.

DIDN’T WE HEAR THAT BEFORE?: In ‘90s, Agassi said he had “the uncanny ability to make himself look stupid.” This year at Indian Wells, he said, “Never underestimate my ability to drop my standard. I’ve been pretty good at it lately. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt good on the court.”

FASHION MELTDOWN OF THE MONTH: Maybe Agassi was trying to recreate his youth, but (sorry, Andre) the muscle-shirt look he unveiled at Indian Wells proved he was no Rafael Nadal. Even Andre confided that he probably won’t offer that look again.

A GOOD CRAFTSMAN JUST OCCASIONALY BLAMES HIS TOOLS: Asked why he has such problems with his volleys, Agassi said it was he because he played with an oversized racket that was tightly strung and designed to enhance his prime strength baseline play.

JUST WONDERING: Will instant replay defuse the passion of the game by diminishing good ol’ “da ump is blind” barbs and “you cannot be serious” meltdowns or will the technology not only bring justice, but it’s own new dramatic twists and adventures in decision making …Did Wayne Bryan lose his gig as the PA announcer at the Pacific Life Open because he led the charge against the ATP doubles reforms, while tournament chairman Charlie Passarell was the biggest advocate for the reforms?…Will the PLO field be hurt by the fact that Key Biscayne was selected as a hard-designated event that the women must play or be penalized severely…Is James Blake’s backhand the most improved stroke in tennis?...Is there any similarity between Martina Hingis and Olympic skater Sasha Cohen, who are both young, twitchy, confident to the point of being cocky and flawed? (But then again, Hingis has five Grand Slams, Sasha has yet to collect gold)...When will the word “wildcarded” become a verb?

WHALE WATCHING 101: Has the Pacific Life Open winner’s trophy — that kind of clunky, inelegant whale — become the most curious trophy in tennis? Each year the Pacific Life CEO tells the winner to “please come forward to accept your whale” as if it were the green blazer bestowed on golf’s Masters champ. But one know-it-all in the pressroom quipped, “When I see that thing, I feel like I’m at the Bass Master’s Championships.”

CAT FIGHT OF THE MONTH: Instead of handing over a diamond bracelet to Sharapova at PLO awards ceremony, Chris Evert insisted, ”I’m going to keep it.” Maria quickly responded, “No, you’re not.”

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	Mike Bryan on doubles changes: “It’s been a positive 10. You can feel the difference.”

SAY IT ISN’T SO: Andy Roddick said that Valentine’s Day was “only invented to get me in trouble.”…The biggest story in Coachella Valley tennis in years — that the Valley will retain the Pac Life Open Tournament — was bounced as the main story in the local Desert Sun by news that Madonna would be coming to town…Justine Henin-Hardenne has an ulcer and therefore can’t take anti-inflammatory meds anymore… The regular-season UCLA vs. Michigan women’s volleyball game bumped ESPN2’s telecast of the Pac Life Open.

BACK-TO-BACK: The Davis Cup is scheduled for the gorgeous desert hideaway of Mission Hills and it was previously played at the extraordinary seaside haven, the La Jolla Beach and Tennis Club. Does this mean the Davis Cup is to be played in the two most beautiful back-to-back sites that have ever hosted the competition? …Last year, Agassi left the Pacific Life Open because of an injured toe. This year, after his early-round loss, he left with injured pride.

AWAKENING THE SLEEPING SAMPRASIAN DRAGON: After three years of low-profile, nearly reclusive (“Honey, after I put on this diaper, I’m heading off for the first tee”) retirement, Pete Sampras joined the Save the Pacific Life Open investor group, announced that he’ll be playing an exhibition at River Oaks in Houston, will be competing in World TeamTennis this summer (think Newport Beach Breakers) and there are rumors of him being involved in an L.A. exo later this summer.

GENE POOL? WHAT GENE POOL?: Roddick’s brother, John, was a leading collegiate tennis star, so a reporter asked Andy to reflect on his family gene pool and tennis. Andy responded, “What gene pool? My father was a farmer and my mother was a bowler who bowled about 93.”

CURIOUS COACHING STRATEGY OF THE MONTH: Roddick revealed what the coaching style of his new mentor, his brother John, would be: “He’ll push me around a bit and beat me up like he used to.”

MEHER BABA IS ALIVE AND WELL: During the Andy Murray-Lleyton Hewitt SAP Open Final, a fan called out to the struggling Aussie, “Don’t Murray, be happy.”

GEE, WE THOUGHT EVER DAY IN VEGAS IS GAMBLE DAY: Sunday, Feb. 26, 2006 was Jan-Michael Gambill Day in Las Vegas.

GO FIGURE: Federer said, “Usually, match point is the most boring point” of the match …At the height of action at the Pacific Life Open (which Serena and Venus haven’t appeared in five years), the duo appeared on Oprah. Sampras laid his first Wimbledon trophy in the grave of his coach Tim Gullikson. Borg is set to sell his five Wimbledon trophies...The late legendary broadcaster Curt Gowdy played tennis at the University of Wyoming, but never called tennis.

DAVIS CUP TIPS: If you plan to go to the Davis Cup at Rancho Mirage’s Mission Hills Resort, try and get seats in the north stands so you can peer out to the gorgeous mountains in the distance. Also, check out the world-class (big-as-a-football-field) croquet court.

LIFE IMITATES TENNIS — CHAPTER 617: As the controversy raged over whether a Dubai company should manage U.S. ports, The God of Las Vegas Tennis, Andre Agassi, managed to find himself in Dubai just as the Tennis Channel Open began in Sin City. Jon Wertheim adeptly noted the play of different realities of sport in the Middle East. For starters, the middle of the road U.A.E. brings huge bundles of dough into tennis. But officially, they don’t allow Israelis into their land (although Jews supposedly can travel there). So top-40 player Shahar Peer wouldn’t be allowed to play. Still, the ATP and WTA say that before sanctioning their tournaments they got assurances that no players would be denied entry. WTA CEO Larry Scott said the tour believes that “through sport we can act as a positive influence for social change and equality, particularly in the area of women’s rights. Wertheim noted, that he “was struck by how closely the logic parallels President Bush’s position on the ports. While this country isn’t perfect, let’s use this as an opportunity to bridge gaps and establish trust. Wertheim admits he had a hard time with the situational ethics and recognizes the huge role of money in the equation. He concludes that “bringing women’s tennis to a moderate Arab country may ultimately lead to improving women’s rights as well as a better understanding of the West…It might even lead to a day when Peer and the 10 other Israeli players ranked by the WTA don’t need special permission to enter the country.”

ONLY THE GODS KNOW: When IT asked James Blake who’s better at going from defense to offense — Federer or Nadal — he responded, “That’s like asking who has a better jumper, Michael Jordan or Larry Bird?”

PAYBACK: Twenty-five years ago, Mats Wilander beat John McEnroe in a historic six-hour-plus Davis Cup match in St. Louis. In March in Florida, Wilander beat McEnroe in the semis of a senior event in Naples.

THIS JUST IN!: McEnroe littered his senior circuit match against Aaron Krickstein with many a profanity-laced outburst.

DOES FATHER REALLY KNOW BEST? John McEnroe recalled that he “was on the cover of Newsweek in ‘81. My kids looked at the cover and it said, “John McEnroe: The Champ You Love to Hate.” They were like, “Daddy?” I said, ‘That’s alright [kids]. They had it wrong.’ But tennis was exploding and never more popular, so I said, ‘They can kiss my you-know-what.’”

THE NOODLES ROMANOFF (AND ON) COMMENTARY OF THE MONTH: Bruce Jenkins noted that when it comes to Andy Murray, “Whatever it might be — a towering topspin pass, a well-timed drop shot, a backhand lob—you really have no idea what he’s up to. If he threw a dinner party, you couldn’t be sure if he’d bust out the Noodles Romanoff or ground brick.”

Up and Coming: Check out the $50,000 Pro Challenge of Santa Clarita at the Paseo Club April 10-16. For info call (661) 257-0044.

BY THE WAY: The last time Federer lost in the U.S. was in Cincinnati in ‘04. The last Americans to win at the Pacific Life Open were Agassi and Serena, and after years of playing Sinatra and Doris Day, the Indian Wells P.A. system offered a Rolling Stones classic. “It’s the appropriate age group,” quipped Eleanor Preston. Can hip hop be around the corner?

AIN’T THAT THE TRUTH: Maria Sharapova said the Pacific Life Open “went from hot to freezing to windy.” And while the tournament wasn’t exactly played on the frozen tundra, it certainly was the coolest in history, as well as the most beautiful, as fans delighted in gorgeous cloud banks, mystic moons and snows dusting surrounding mountains.

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